10 Reasons Why I Want Cesar Millan To Get Mauled By A Dog
Tuesday, 02 Jun 2009
- Cesar Milan woke me up at 4 AM when I was sleeping on the couch last night with his dumb DVD training set infomercial.
- He speaks in that fake, affected Mexican accent that so many famous Mexicans speak in. He sounds like Felipe, Jack Tripper’s assistant chef from Three’s Company
- I’ve never seen him get bitten by a dog and this seems like either excellent luck or wizardry, and thus in his line of work he should get bit by a dog sometimes
- He says in his Spanish Eckhart Tolle voice “I teach humans to not think of a dog as a human— (wait for it)— but as a dog” and stupid white people with too much disposable income faint at this bit of advice.
- He never feeds the dogs sandwiches. I had a dog before and he loved to eat sandwiches.
- Cesar calls himself “The Dog Whisperer” which is a pretty direct rip off of a book and movie called “The Horse Whisperer”. Besides the blatant rip-off, dogs need to be yelled at, not whispered at. Even they know that and will bite whisperers.
- He never re-trains really scary dogs like Pitbulls or Rottweilers. Only little suburban dogs. Besides that, they use camera tricks to make the dogs look bigger such as Cesar only being 4 feet 3 inches tall.
- He claims to be Mexican but does not have a real Mexican man’s mustache. He has a Backstreet Boys style mustache and beard. He also does not have Budweiser foam on his mustache, a dead giveaway that he is actually a Nicaraguan.
- He claims to be married to a woman but anybody with manicured facial hair like that dreams about construction workers eating bananas
- I don’t really have a #10 but these lists need to have 10 items so I asked my friend and Dog Expert Chris White and he said:
(4:05:07 PM) Chris White: he did a two month stretch for raping dogs in the mid 80′s.
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Posted in celebrity, humor, odd
Tagged with cesar milan, cesar millan, dog whisperer, dogs, gay, sucks, training
Tagged with cesar milan, cesar millan, dog whisperer, dogs, gay, sucks, training
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it was really just the infomercial that drove me over the edge. i expect to wake up to old sitcoms or something, not this cockrocker. i pledged to ruin his good name this very day.
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haha that did make me laugh but im watching the dog whisperer as i type and in this episode he both got bitten and trained a rotweiler!
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can you post a video of that episode?
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Alpha my @$$ lets just see your toothy faangs….
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Don’t be a hater. What could be more enjoyable, when I want the TV to display semi-nude females, than an under-educated, metrosexually groomed male with an affected accent attempting to sell me computer products I don’t need at ridiculously inflated prices?
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You’re ignorant.
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You guys are mean. Hes helping people. Your all sadists.
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This makes me laugh lol. You say he fakes the accent. YOu do realize he was born in Culiacán, Mexico, right? He lived in Mexico till he was 18 or 21 and jumped the border to America. HE KNEW NO ENGLISH.
And yes hes been bitten plenty of times. In fact a few days ago I saw him breaking a colley of its hate towards scissors and brushes and the thing starts gnawing on his hand to the point of bleeding. He handled the situation perfectly, not punishing it but kept a firm grip on its neck hide, showing the dog it wasnt the boss anymore, and after a minute or two it stopped.
He’s dealt with boxers, pitbulls, rottweilers and other large aggressive dogs plenty of times. Just most of the people that seek help have little brat dogs that are drama queens.
Now claiming they use trick photography? Thats just screaming for attention. As if the mustache thing wasnt bad enough. BTW the mustache and beard is called a goatee, smart one. Don’t be jealous that your too young to grow one. When you hit puberty you’ll start to get some peach fuzz.
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10 reasons why you should get mauled by cesar milan
1:thats your stupidity for leaving the tv on while sleeping
2:Hes mexican believe it, deal with it, dont be a stereotype
3:they only have 1 hour not all day and his energy and the way he handles the dogs may be why
4:treat your dog like a human and id like to see how that works for you
5:of course feed your dog human food so he gets diarhea and begs you for food all the time what a wise idea…
6:yelling at a dog scares it and it shows weakness look at answer 4
7:thats why he has daddy the best pibull ever and trains alot of rotties as well…
8:again you stereotype WHO CARES
9:hes married to illusion…
10:biggest lie
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You understand he hurts the dog so when he approaches the dog the dog knows that man is going to hurt me its not the matter of dominating the dog and telling him that your better than it its about showing him or her that you are equals your the owner but you do not dominate be calm dont get frustrated do not i repeat DO NOT hurt the dog reward him or her when it is good when its bad put it somwhere else and show him tis not acceptable and if you do not agree i am a professional dog trainer i beleive cesar is way off and he hurts the dog dont hurt your dog cesars way damges its nerves
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Josh,
He only pokes his fingers at the dogs, and I don’t think that would hurt them. Punishments and corrections are two different things.
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You are a moron, he teaches all kinds of dogs….including Rotweillers. You obviously have never seen him in person.
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worthless article and not even funny
a reason why you should meet my pit bull
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wow hilarious response Cameron. I get it, your pit bull is mean! ha ha ha ha
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scott, pre-vet student, love animals. dog people, shut up, you all are weird and creep me out. skeptics, he handles mean, big, aggressive breeds, but fat, lazy lower-middle class, yorkie and chihuahua owning pieces of crap know what they want. to the writer, my sentiments exactly, mostly, especially the sandwich thing, if i get a crap sandwich it goes to my dog
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My mom got my daughter a 5 episode dvd for her birthday…I had never seen it before then and your posts made me giggle a bit cuz there’s at least 3 pitbulls in it and he gets bit twice and his wife is in 1 of the episodes…
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I WILL RAPE YOUR WHITE ASS MOTHER FUCKER
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he actually has been bitten more than a couple of times… and usually works with the big scary dog. That was his campaign; to save fighting dogs from euthanasia before this show. I can tell your not partial mexicans either, i bet if he was white you would be giving him the benefit of the doubt..(assuming your white due to the psycho babble) lol
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this website stinks by the way, who do you think you are ebaumsworld….? steak and cheese?
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I thought this was a pretty funny article, especially the part about the Back Street Boy/Prince facial hair thing he’s got going on. The article sure struck a nerve with a shitload of Cesar fans, though. They came out in force for this one…
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actually, millan’s just a CAT in disguise spreading the
seeds for the global cat dominance(GCD)over dogs.
by suggesting a FALSE dog training methods, he makes
us, HUMANS, working for his kind, the CATS by doing all
the diry work for them.
then, when his false ways have made their impact, that is
make all dogs numb and dumb, the cats will take their final
step -THE INVASION.
and guess who’s gonna be the next DOGS??
yep… blame it all on Cesar.
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FUCK YOU i LOVE THAT FAGGOT! I saw him in Venice once & he was nice to me.
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You’re ignorant and dumb and don’t speak if you haven’t seen all his shows, He has gotten bit, and he trains pitbulls all the times….Matter as fact he has 4 pitbull’s, he has trained rottweilers as well, and you talking about mustache lol wtf does that have to do with anything, If you had good knowledgeable facts why to hate cesar it would Of been understandable but what you say sound’s straight dumb the way you stand a guy have some much talent to what he’s doing…Let the man do what he does you don’t have to watch him……….
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With as much time and energy that you put into this hate/bash blog on Caesar Millan, I would think that you would actually take all this work and put it into something that would benefit you and the world around you. What a waste of time! It sounds like you are unforgiving with yourself for not doing more with yourself and unforgiving with those around you.
Seems to me like Caesar is minding his own business being successful and you are being successful in not rising to the top but to the bottom of the pond with all this hate. Actually, it’s you, I see that needs all the help and attention that you could possibly muster the only way that you know how. You are so busy with your nose in someone else’s life, you have no time for anything else. Clean up your own yard and you’ll find that his business won’t be that important to you anymore. You’ll be amazed at how much you have accomplished. Now, I am returning to my own yard; and frankly, it’s non of my business what you think of me either. Good luck to you…
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If u don’t like it,,,? Don’t Look At It,,,!
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I for one, Like Cesars show Dog Whisper and wud love to meet him
And I don’t even have a dog
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You are a complete FUCKTARD even though i may agree that he is a closeted homosexual, that however has no bearing on his ability to whisper to dogs!! AND he has been bit numerous times and works with large dogs on a regular basis!
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are you a troll ? or just a very very ignorant person?
plz dont actually respond I dont expect anything useful…
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