Misanthropy Today

This is one of those shows that you watch and don’t want to admit that you watch.

Not because it’s blatant pop culture trash, which it is, but because it’s something that many probably take seriously and you don’t want to be lumped in with them. Sometimes it’s hard to explain that you like watching a show in order to laugh at it and study the anthropology of idiots, not because you actually enjoy it or find it enriching. With this show, people may even assume that you need to watch this show.

To dispel any ideas to that effect, a female friend of mine told me tonight that when she watches this show she thinks to herself “These are all skills that Andy possesses naturally. You’re a natural. ” I Swear someone said this to me. I know that this is an unnecessary and stupid bit of information but I always feel the need to do that.

(this used to be google’s logo, not kidding)

Anyhow, The story of this show goes back further than most people know. In the earlier days of the internet before Google was Google, they took on the lowly task of indexing e-mail discussion groups. Each discussion group had a category then subcategory and then another. People would email or use the web interface and discuss a certain topic. More on that in a bit.

I used to have internet friends that I’d meet playing Yahoo Games, etc. These were the in-between days of the internet, betwixt the “Don’t-Talk-To-Anyone-Or-Tell-Anyone-Details-About-Yourself” era and the “Talk-To-Everyone-And-Tell-Everyone-Everything” days we live in now. It was a nice time to have a computer and an AOL free trial CD-ROM.

One such friend had a really hard time with women. He was painfully shy and would tell me about the stuff he would do to meet women. Get drunk and go to the mall, etc.

One day he stumbled across a Google Group called alt.seduction.fast; it still might exist today, i’m not sure. In this group people discussed how techniques to pick up women, how to treat women, how to get laid, which women to avoid etc. Their bible that they commonly referenced was a book called The Layguide, meaning, the guide on how to get laid.

This holy grail was available for something like six dollars, via paypal, and they would send you the layguide in a word doc. Again, connection speeds were so slow that pirating was nearly prohibitive and because of that, it didn’t really occur to anyone to just upload it somewhere and let others download it for free. Or post it on a webpage or geocities site. Again, these were the early days of the web.

Moving forward, my friend became obsessed with this group and this layguide. I looked at it a little and flamed the board sometimes but thought it was all a little goofy and pat. The nomenclature was ridiculously nerdy.

Fast forward ten years:

I’m sitting on my couch watching digital cable. I see a show called “The Pick Up Artist” on VH-1 and suddenly all of this came back to me.

To be sure, the show takes itself very seriously. The battle of the beaver is serious business after all. The host, who calls himself “Mystery” without even an ounce of embarrassment, dresses in a manner that would offend Elton John. The contestants are all annoying or unattractive in some really repulsive and inextricable way.

Then comes the nomenclature that annoyed me so badly years ago. The jargon will just make you laugh really hard. Jargon by nature, is meant to keep outsiders out. In this case, it performs the task perfectly. Then the pick up lines.

This one fat guy uses this one over and over: “Hey did you guys see that fight outside? Two girls were fighting over a guy named George”. Yeah, that one has legs fatso.

Another one is: “Hey can I ask a woman’s opinion on something? <girl says ok> what do you think of a guy who keeps pictures of his ex girlfriend?” Um, what?

Anyhow, if you have the chance, treat yourself to this droll piece of subculture trash that they’ve turned into a reality show. Please don’t take it seriously or try these techniques. The last thing I need to overhear at a bar is:

“Hey did you see the fight outside earlier….”

Here’s a video:

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=k6i_i3JeDIE]

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