A Few Things You Should Know About Koreatown, Los Angeles
I quit my job recently. After a year of soul and bone crushing work, my blood oiling the cogs and pulleys of the corporate internet machine, I am a free man.
For four more days.
Until I start the new job that I quit this one for.
Yeah, i’m a dope.
So where does the author of your favorite website like to spend his* time as a free man? In his* shitcan neighborhood that’s where: the Koreatown District of Los Angeles.
* Note: If you start a paragraph speaking in the third person, you are then required to continue writing like a pompous asshole for the rest of that paragraph. Protip: keep it short.
I want to mention that this is my 2nd and probably final time living in Koreatown. Koreatown is a young man’s game. My first time was 5 years ago, when Koreans regarded me the way white people regarded black people in 1920’s Alabama. Koreans have come a long way. They now regard me the way white people regarded black people in 1940’s Mississippi. Keep up the good fight! Anyhow, My new job will probably force me to leave Koreatown for good. This may or may not provide some context.
8:30PM, Wednesday February 27th
So after the sad parade of carrying my professional life in a small moving box from the building into the trunk of my car, I decided I needed to get back to my roots.
The first stop was (actually, uninterestingly at my apartment to change clothes and deposit my box) the Grand Spa on Sixth and Virgil.
Let me tell you a few things about the Grand Spa:
- It offers a wonderful atmosphere and resources to put yourself back together after the world has torn your mind and body apart
- It’s crawling with naked Korean dudes who are not a bit ashamed or self conscious in any way
- My friend Pete Pelmo said that he would pay 100 crispies to be a fly on the wall in the women’s side of the spa
- The massages are good but expensive and, no Pete, there’s no happy endings
- Their copywriters are actually stockholders in the web company Engrish.com
This sign is displayed conspicuously in a common area (read: nakedness) . I risked a sure homophobic tae kwon do prison-style beating to snap this picture.
11:30PM, Wednesday February 27th
After the Grand Spa, I headed West and didn’t feel like eating Korean Food— If I had, I would’ve gone to Honey Pig on the recently groovified 8th St. (8th St. what’d you let em do to you?!) or Shik Do Rak on Olympic and Hoover, they offer some of the best Duk Bo Sam, (which is like this delicious flat moist rice noodle that you wrap the meat and other crap in it) in Koreatown. If I wanted to just drink and eat snacks I would go to Dansangsa (fuck get to the point already, Andy) — but I felt like Japanese food for some reason.
So since it was about 12:30 at this point (the clock above is wrong) I went to Shoubo Izakaya, which is the Korean answer to a Japanese Izakaya.
To get a solid idea for how Disneyland-ish and weird this place is, imagine if you were in Germany and there were Filipinos trying to pretend like they were Texas Cowboys at a Texas BBQ place– or something like that.
Essentially, the decor and menu is very authentic, but the vibe and staff is decidedly Korean. I’ll put it this way, it’s about as authentically Japanese as these two:
But still its fun as hell and the food is good (sorta pricey though, Pete Pelmo).
1:30 AM, Thursday February 28th
After food and drinks I wanted to eat some dessert. Pinkberry sounded like just the thing, but it’s an uptight place and closes early so that their ice cream artists can get a good night’s rest.
There must be a “Pinkberry knock-off open at this hour” I thought.
Note: in K-town, especially on or near Western Ave you can’t throw a dead cat without hitting a Pinkberry knock-off joint. The funny thing is, the Pinkberry knockoff places are sometimes better than Pinkberry itself. They all have funny similar sounding names: snowberry, iceberry, icekiss, redberry, etc.
Anyhow, there’s not one open at that hour, so don’t waste your time.
So at around 2AM I arrived at the only place open that serves ice cream. Mr Coffee on Western Ave somewhere. Apparently, Mr Coffee has a rule that nothing on the menu can be under $5.
How much is a lowly cup of tea you might ask. $5.50. Awesome. Anyhow, this place is typical of the korean-trying- to-be-fancy-and -upscale-but-somehow -it’s-like- one-chromosome-off ilk. I had a coffee and ice cream and the bill was close to 20 bucks. The waitress also seemed unhappy to have to serve a round eye at this crazy hour. One thing I notice about Koreans at coffee shops is the enjoy the hell out of each other’s company. And cigarettes. They love to smoke.
An ex-girfriend I haven’t talked to in ages called me recently to see how i’m getting on in life— but more specifically in Ktown.
We used to go to Koreatown together a lot. We’d stroll into odd looking places, eat anything that was put in front of us and quietly make fun of signs and bad english. We’d get drunk a lot. The fact that we were in something of a nearby foreign country, made it feel like we were in it together on a semi-dangerous adventure. You could experience xenophobia just hitting golf balls at the driving range, for example.
“So do the Koreans like you yet?” She asked.
“Yeah, I think they’re coming around” I said.
“Like when that 50 year old korean guy tried to fight you and Steve for entering his club and then you guys threw a bucket of 4-day old Kentucky Fried Chicken that was in your car at him and then drove away?” She asked.
“Been banned from any Korean bars recently?” She continued.
“Look” I said, “whether I have or not isn’t important.”
And really, it’s not.
UPDATE:
After reading this post a few of my korean friends contacted me via IM:
Female Perspective:
[17:37] Connie Park: well…i don’t think it’s that they don’t like u
[17:38] Connie Park: i think sometimes they get intimidated and it comes off that way
[17:39] Connie Park: a lot of 1st generationers reside and work in k-town
[17:39] Connie Park: most that have assimilated usually move out of LA
[17:39] Connie Park: generally speaking of course
[17:39] andyfox1979: yeah ktown is like the training wheels for new koreans
[17:40] Connie Park: well of course. esp bc they are around everything that’s familiar
[17:41] Connie Park: korean culture and ideology in korea has actually become much more westernized then here
[17:41] Connie Park: a lot of it is just ignorance too…
[17:42] Connie Park: if they knew on a more personal level, they’d probably cook you all the foods you love at their home
Male Perspective from ex Co-worker and owner of Ktown213.com:
[17:48] Paul Ku: new thing in ktown. so you go to a karaoke bar and call this number
[17:48] Paul Ku: these are hostess bar girls that freelance
[17:49] Paul Ku: they come party with you, cheaper version of hostess bars
[17:49] Paul Ku: they charge you $60/hour
[17:49] AndyFox1979: oh man…
[17:49] Paul Ku: minimum 2 hours
[17:50] AndyFox1979: haha
[17:50] AndyFox1979: man how weird
[17:50] AndyFox1979: are they all shy
[17:50] Paul Ku: no
[17:50] Paul Ku: you can feel up on them and everything. and if they like you, you can probably get a room somewhere
[17:51] AndyFox1979: oh shit
[17:52] Paul Ku: remember it next time you’re drunk in ktown
[17:52] AndyFox1979: where do i find the number
[17:53] Paul Ku: you know those lighters you get in ktown for cabs? some of them are those girls
[17:53] Paul Ku: or i’m sure the karaoke bar will have some if you ask
Planning on traveling to California? Stopping in Koreatown in Los Angeles might be a little dicey, but there are tons of historic hotels in the LA area that are worth a visit. You might even stumble across some bed and breakfasts along the way.
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