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Olga and Dmitri Funny Voicemail

I got this in my email today from my friend in San Francisco, thought I should share it.

Pretty funny— this dude Dmitri (Dimitri)  leaves two pathetic voicemails for this Olga chick he met on the curb and talked to for 2 minutes.

Hilarious. Further proof that women are generally lousy judges of character or actually like guys who are tools, at least by first impression.

All,

This is HILARIOUS!!!! The Alliance Manager from our Latin America team forwarded this on. His friend is Olga — read below to get the story

Okay guys here is the info on this voicemail. One of my friend’s from
work and her friend were out one night in the SF Marina district and

were hanging outside of the bars trying to find a cab. One of the
girl’s, Olga ends up meeting this guy Dimitri and they talk for at the
most 2 minutes. She hands him her business card and says call me.

Well attached is the actual voicemail that this guy left her. Wait
till you hear it you will be laughing so hard you’ll fall out of your
chair.

NEW: CRAZY INDIAN PERSIAN VOICEMAIL

Further Reading: Sent in by a friend, a crazy chick sends her ex boyfriend ridiculous breakup rules (click there)

Or, go see  hippie demonstrators owned by a car

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Post Metadata

Date
June 27th, 2008

Author
andyfox1979


8 Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. July 2, 2008 6:46 am

    Dr. Blogstein: The Official Website of the Radio Happy Hour » Blog Archive » The Dmitri and Olga Voicemail :

  2. July 2, 2008 4:47 pm

    The funniest and scariest voicemail ever! « Inside JP’s Head :

  3. July 3, 2008 12:03 am

    Dimitri, The Voicemail Guy’s, Outgoing Message « Midseason Replacement :

  4. July 3, 2008 2:55 pm

    Worst Voicemailer Ever :

  5. July 3, 2008 4:23 pm

    Does this sound like anyone here - This is Hilarious - Motorcycle-Journal Forums :

  6. July 15, 2008 7:11 pm

    Reward: $100 To Identify Dimitri From Olga & Dimitri | Misanthropy Today :

  7. July 25, 2008 8:16 pm

    Funny Email: Davey And Sarahs Breakup Rules | Misanthropy Today :

  8. August 14, 2008 11:33 pm

    Crazy Pissed Off Persian Or Indian Stalker Voicemail | Misanthropy Today :

137 Comments


  1. Junkyard

    This dude is out of his mind, man! lolz!



  2. Devin

    Man live, this guy is.. well… beyond the descriptive capabilities of any of the 4 languages I can speak… I would say it’s not really going out on a limb to say that any language, past or present, can’t really describe this shit…. FUCKING HILARIOUSLY INSANE is the best I can come up with… With perhaps a little Schadenfreude…


  3. It’s unfortunate that he refers to himself as intelligent as well as having nothing wrong with him.



  4. Honeyporter735

    OMG, she needs to change her number, this guy is nuts.



  5. Dawn Bird

    I’m actually not suprised that he’s Greek. Every Greek man I have ever met has been controlling and they truly believe that they are above all. However, this guy was a bit extreme. If I were to receive a message like that I would have taken the opportunity to set that idiot up for embarassment on national TV. The world deserves some warning to stay away from this guy Dmitri!



  6. KC


  7. Frank

    Can you say Control Freak, being single is not his choice, it’s everyone else’s. Amazing! he is dangerous


  8. OBSESSIVE
    GET A LIFE MAN
    HE’S REALLY SMART BUT OVER ANALIZES
    I HAVE SCARED GIRLS AWAY BEFORE BY JUST GOING TOO FAST BUT
    THIS GUY IS OFF THE HOOK THOUGH
    JUST A TAD BIT BITTER
    I THINK MAYBE HE’S NOT QUIET OVER HIS LAST RELATIONSHIP
    POOR GUY! DEFINATELY NEEDS SOME THERAPY! GOD BLESS


  9. What a douche bag! If you claim you’re a catch, you’re really a douche bag!



  10. Kim

    If anyone knows this guy personally, do him, and the rest of us a favor and have him involuntarily committed! Involuntarily because he thinks there is nothing wrong with him, which makes him even more crazy.


  11. LEAVE DIMITRI ALONE
    ( ALA BRITANY SPEARS)



  12. bob

    uhhhhh

    The sad fact of the matter is that this guy most likely gets plenty of action.

    My older brother is a good guy, kind of heavy and chicks never roll to him. But this ass hole… no justice man.



  13. Steve

    While this guy is obviously a moron, without question, I would make two points:

    1. She *did* give him her number after all.

    2. Presumably he kept his word, and did not call back.

    But yeah…moron.



  14. John R

    Hahahahaha….what a jerk off!



  15. Dmitri

    What the junk!? I do not find this funny. I did nothing wrong how dare you people make a mockery of my personal life. However, all the stuff I said is true. I am a COMPLETE catch. Call me if you’re elegant..
    olga, that means you.
    2035054965



  16. ValetaSue

    THIS GUY IS FULL OF HIMSELF. RUN LADIES RUN!!!


  17. THIS FELLOW IS ON NARCISSTIC MEDICATION,NOT TO BRING HIM BACK TO EARTH ,BUT FOR LOOKING AT HIS TURDS BEFORE HE FLUSHES TWICE ITS A LONG WAY TO GREECE!



  18. Phil

    What a conceited self-rightous fool!



  19. MaryJo

    Sure am glad I’m not on the dating scene anymore. I found my catch, and he surely is nothing like the arrogant piece of …… you know what I mean.



  20. Rusty Garrett

    Looks and sounds like the horrible event in her life just took place. WOW! What a catch this guy would be!



  21. Cindy

    This guy is CRAZY!!!

    Unfortunately there are many more like him and they come in BOTH genders! RUN!



  22. jp

    RUN OLGA RUN OLGA a rat is also a catch for a rat trap….



  23. gary

    He sounds like a potential serial killer to me. Ladies beware of egotistical idiots like this guy. This clowns real name is TROUBLE.



  24. Sara

    This was lol hysterical. The guy is crazy.


  25. This Guy is an idiot, a controlling freak. Probably master bates in a mirror or with his blow up doll.

    Just goes to show you looks are not everything. For all you what’s on the surface empty souls.

    He even sounds like he might be gay.
    At least bi. Sorry soul.



  26. Soozi

    Dmitri! Dmitri!! I love you! Please call me. I am elegant, too. I wont treat you wrong. I will wait forever. I love you!

    LOLOLOL…..



  27. randor55

    WHAT A CHUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!



  28. Michelle

    You are all so gullible to actually believe this.



  29. Larry

    RUN AWAY!!!!! This guy is a super nut-job.



  30. John L.

    With jackholes like this out there why am I the one that’s still single?


  31. This reminds me of the so-called “accident” which results in an old woman beating a man over the head with her purse. Just as I believe the previous was faked, I also believe that this Dmitri recording is fake. I’ve not heard any phone recording that sounded like this.


  32. Oh my, that is crazy!!



  33. DD McGee

    I am a single guy. If this is indicative of how all other single men behave these days, then I won’t blame women if they ignore me. I feel sorry for them.


  34. Geez….you mean I’m not the only one who comes across morons like that?



  35. Brandy

    WHOA! Dmitri is one of those guys that think he is all that, but sounds like he is FULL OF HIMSELF and needs to be brought down about 10 notches or more from his higher than thou throne that rests in his bathroom.



  36. Mihalinka

    I have over 20 years of experience as a psychotherapist and I can say with absolute authority that this guy a WORLD CLASS ASSHOLE. Ladies, let this be a lesson to you - don’t give your personal information to a man you’ve known two minutes, no matter how attractive he might be - Ted Bundy was attractive, and a raging narcissist just like Dimiti!



  37. Catmom

    I honestly don’t know what to make of this. I dated a gorgeous Greek lawyer (on Wall St.) right after college and he WAS a catch. Unfortunately, after 3 years, he was unsure about committing, until I had moved on. THEN he got serious, but it was over for me. I met up with him again 10 years later and he still didn’t know any good restaurants in his own neighborhood since all he did was work. I’m sure he’s a zillchionaire now, but has no life. His voice sounded so much like Dmitri’s that I almost did fall off my chair. I wish them both well. Dimitri just needs to be taught some social skills- or get over his last love who obviously did him wrong.



  38. Thom

    LA is filled with men like him and their female counterparts. Bet he has a house full of mirrors just to catch glimpses of himself.
    But the guy is scary, and I hear potential violence in his voice. Not a person to be alone with I would think.



  39. Datharion

    Hmm…a relative of mine used to manage an apartment and when she did she had a man by the name of Valush who was from Greece. He had a wife and repeatedly would beat her but when my relative would call the police for it the wife would say that it was normal and that she wouldn’t press charges. The man actually found out that it was my relative and called her out. Pathetic as he was…he actually thought not only that he was better then her but that all women were lower then all of his “kind” I am not surprised at all let me say that. ALSO! i don’t think i would ever give a card to any human being with my number on it and if i did it would be because of work and nothing but it…this guy is pathetic.



  40. Caryn

    I can’t believe someone would actually leave messages like that. It’s scary that he thinks that THAT is a normal message. Who calls someone after 2 minutes of meeting and tells them they better call or else? A lot of people say he needs to get better socialized but all I can say is that man is dangerous and there is some woman who is going to fall under what ever charm he might have and something bad will happen. It makes me very glad I’m no longer single and having to look.



  41. ShotInTheDark

    I find it ironic that he goes on for like a minute questioning whether or not SHE has mental problems…



  42. maria

    Wow. This guy just got his 15 minutes of fame. Now let’s hope he jumps off the bridge.



  43. Melvin Toast

    You are all fools. Women positively LOVE men like this. They marry them–and fawn over them–every single day. Women will take a bad but rich “Donald Trump” over a good but middle-income “Maytag Repairman” any day of the week.



  44. NoShariaForMe

    He’s a control freak who probably has a long rap sheet for domestic abuse!

    This is what happens when you pick up strays off the street…



  45. aaron

    what an asshole dude needs to have his dick cut off and stuffed in his ass while being fed shit.


  46. wow!
    This guy is crazy. He left an awful long message on that second call to be giving her a deadline to return his call…..what a jerk

    this might explain why he’s single again



  47. Dmitri

    I am not “crazy”, “an asshole”, “a chump” or any of these other things you refer to me as. I am just a very attractive Greek single male that is a catch and thinks every elegant woman in the world wants a piece of me.
    -Dmitri



  48. Gladly Not Single

    “Now here’s what’s going to happen”

    There is nothing wrong with being conceited, narcissistic, pushy & controlling, I guess. If you live in laa laa land…



  49. Mara

    OOOOO this is HILARIOUS. Im a serb, I had a greek that was interested in me to a fault. 1) he was full of himself (but that was part of his charm because he knew where he could take it and when it was ridiculous) and 2) he was a womanizer—and thats why we remainded friend inspite of his intense frusteration. all of the tan, dark wavy hair-types (greek, russian, eastern european, italian) are the same. they are use to getting what they want, they are oversexed, and if things dont go their way they are prone to tantrums. this guy though—takin it to the next level—in a HUGE way. this guy sounds like a boarderline sociopath—you can hear it in the way his tone changes in the second message. Clearly his mom coddled hiM a little too much as a child—i have a uncle that is kinda psycho in a similar way :P. BEWARE OF DIMITRI! hEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHE!



  50. SCGator

    Ummmmmm, think he sees a whole TEAM of psychiatrists……..



  51. Jeff

    Obviously an Obama supporter…clueless and out of touch!!



  52. Michael

    Hey Olga,

    Call me, PLEEEEEEZE. I’m not into playing games and women approach me at least 6-7 times a day!

    Damn it! You gave me your card and stuff! Oh, and your friends were jealous also.

    I’ve got to get back to my movie script.



  53. Regina

    Bwhhahhahaaaaa! Let the romance begin! … wait, wait, wait … let the nightmare begin! Oh, my GAWD!!!! here’s how it’s gonna work … I’m gonna stalk yer ass and if I do not receive a phone call back from you … I’m gonna wear yer skin when I dress up like mah motha! … There’s nothin’ wrong with me. By the way, I’m ‘Geek’ and your friends are jealous of you.

    Call me … don’t call me!

    Bwhhahahhaa, oh, I can’t take it ! I just tinkled my panties!



  54. Lurowan

    Ummmm…Does this sound like Alec Baldwin??



  55. acg

    Further proof that women are generally lousy judges of character or actually like guys who are tools, at least by first impression.

    How do you know Olga actually liked him? She probably gave Dimitri her number so he’d go away. Two minutes of talking to him on the street would definitely give her enough time to accurately judge his character, that of an arrogant douchebag.

    Olga’s real mistake was not giving out a fake number… cruel but necessary sometimes.



  56. Nan

    The phone calls were NOT funny, I have meet men like this and they are SCARY. But Jeff calling him an Obama suporter, now that’s FUNNY! ! !



  57. Katie W

    Whether or not this voicemail is real, I’ve met guys like this - well, maybe not so sociopathic, but similar. Anyway, if anyone recognizes his voice, please email this site to all his friends. He deserves the humiliation.

    And yes, there are not-so-bright women who will fall for a moron like this, but there are plenty of men who fall for the woman who only loves him when he buys her things. There are pathetic people on both sides of the aisle. (Gay and Straight).



  58. Julie E

    LOL! This guy should be looking up the psychological profile of a narcissist - his picture would be at the top of the page.

    Ladies, let this be a lesson to you. Have a phony set of business cards made up to hand out to the assholes of the world.



  59. Fritz

    Hey, Jeff: How do you think McCain got Cindy?? A similar pitch, I’m sure.

    Conspiracy Theory: Were John McCain and Dimitri separated at birth? The story’s on Entertainment Tonight.

    lol.



  60. Jody W.

    I thought “Mindfreak” meant something else…



  61. Lacie

    ummm if the man with the screen name dmitri is REALLY dmitri….you should take advice from every single person on this site..lol..i mean really, why do you think you are single?…this all reminds me of that movie…oh crap whats the name…where the really sexy rich guy takes girls to his place and records them while they do it just to see himself and then kills the girls? CREEP



  62. Imogen

    Here’s how it’s gonna work. Fucking brilliant, I’ve listened to it four times now, and it still makes me laugh. What a knobjockey…



  63. Will


  64. jones


  65. Scott

    This guy is a legend in his own mind. Anyone seen “Sleeping with the Enemy”? Olga baby…this guy’s a riot.



  66. Rebecca

    This is sad … not even funny. This man needs therapy — desperate, fantasy-land, grandiose issues, then threatening.

    Any woman who wants to get rid of an irritating person, giving one’s card, then ignoring them usually works. DUH


  67. Nut job - avoid at all cost. Any one who thinks so highly of themselves to leave you this kind of a message, will think nothing of you, or your personal welfare.



  68. seamus

    LOL his # starts with 416, thats a toronto area code! i live in toronto lol a greek guy writing a script? for what my big fat greek wedding 2????????? lol go back to woodbridge Dimitri!! have fun at taste of danforth a greezy bastard AND ITS ASSUME NOT ASSHUME! dont ASSHUME you sound smart when you say things different…COOL WHOOIP? now say whip WIP now cool whip KEWL WHOOIP



  69. Stephanie


  70. wildbill

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSER



  71. Mary

    I have dated a greek, very cute and an awesome guy…but, this guy is going over board. Way out there thinking this woman he spoke to for only 2 minutes is all over him…he needs to get over himself.



  72. DD McGee


  73. Someone


  74. Carole

    Stay Clear!

    Her is the one who needs medication!



  75. death

    dimitri in two days you’ll be s..king a c..k. hell your even in san fran.

    your’s hatefuly
    death



  76. Kat

    When is the sequel coming out. I’m dying to hear it. This made my Thursday! Loving it!!! LMFAO

    ” Call me if you have the courage!”

    Priceless! ha ha ha ha



  77. michelle

    There is a fine line between ’strong connection’ and ‘i will find a way, and I will have you’(Obsession)Dimitri, it is all well and good to be so forthright with your feelings, intentions, and ‘magnetic’ attraction to this woman. HOWEVER sometimes that same honest approach (non game playing) will result in total depletion of the mystery that women prefer in their courtships….and when the metal door to your ’sugar coated cage’ is creaking in the background any strong intelligent woman will hopefully stand clear. It is one thing to be adored, another thing entirely to be an object of such fierce emotional attraction. (read 9 1/2 weeks if you doubt it)



  78. Marty

    He used al my lines in two messages!


  79. Can someone say insane?



  80. Shelby

    I can’t believe this guy!
    She gave you a BUSINESS card for a reason. She was just being nice. But no one would ever turn you down, right?……
    LOL



  81. Heather

    Dang - I think I went out with his “twin” brother Jeff, in Asheville, NC. IDIOTS.



  82. suddarth

    someone here said it this guy probably has women pushing down his door and he is a complete ahole. i never did get that?? how is it that the good guys are always finding a quiet room to themselves :) and this guy who obviously needs a good kick to the nuts from behind is probably getting laid right now!


  83. The movie Dimitri is working on: My Big Fat Greek Ego (written from the prison psych ward).



  84. Dude

    OMG what a fucking looser! Sheeeeee’s passive aggressive? LOL

    that’s REALLY fucking creepy

    he’s the only guy with nothing wrong with him? LMAO I hope he knows what a joke he is online now



  85. MSB

    I just wish all of us ladies would get enough self-esteem that we didn’t ever have to put up with s%&t from a&s holes like this

    Olga - grow a pair!

    Olga’s friends - Call the cops - don’t post this on the internet because you think it is funny!



  86. mICHY

    OMG - I think I know that voice!
    Run Olga Run



  87. Lisa

    OMG what a TOOL. I am SO fuh king glad I don’t have to DATE! Men today are so emasculated that they ahve to resort to THIS to get a date? Someone get me a blowtorch. I pray to GOD my sons don’t act like such bass turds when they grow up and start dating.



  88. Danette

    This guy, as with many celebrities need to get a clue the the universe does not revolve around them.


  89. As sad it might seem to some people, this guy probably does fairly well with women because he’s holding himself to a higher standard and expects the same from other.

    Having said that, this guy is over the top and needs to take one of our courses. Check out our website at http://www.lifestyletransformations.com and you’ll see what I mean!

    Jason



  90. Brandy

    You people need to quit assuming that all or most women would be all over this guy. We don’t all have such low self esteem that we fall for that crap even most of us don’t. Anyways the guy was a complete moron and someone ought to mail this site to not just his friends but to him as well so that he knows that everyone else knows what a moron he is.


  91. Undoubtedly, this guy has an issue of “what part of not calling you back don’t you get”… he doesn’t need a date… he’s completely in love w/ himself… not enough room for a girl too.l.o.l…well I feel sorry for him (nope I’m lying) actually I feel like I’ve been eavesdropping on a pre-stalker…just walk away (nope I’m lyning again) RUN; I MEAN REALLY FAST…l.o.l…..



  92. Mrs. G

    My husband just gave me this so I can make sure our daughter and all my nieces in college will learn from Olga’s mistake of handing out her phone number to a stranger. Olga, stay smart, listen to your heart young lady, and may God bless.


  93. You got to be kidding. This guy is a loser. RUN>>>
    didnt he get it he was getting blowen off.



  94. chuckp12

    FUnny but fake…who’s answering machine lets anyone talk that long?



  95. Bahl

    I couldn’t stand to listen to the end of this! Does this guy have any idea what a HUGE fool he made of himself?!?!? I don’t care how fabulous you think you are, arrogance is the world’s biggest turnoff whether it’s in a friend a co-worker or whatever!! And, no of course he no idea he was being blown off. Who in their right mind would blow off such a self proclaimed “catch”?

    Thanks for the laugh!



  96. bali12


  97. jeff

    I don’t think this message is real but if it is, this guy needs to go castrate himself if he hasn’t already. He is a flippin idiot! He obviously had a deprived childhood and is just trying to make himself feel special because his parents never did! NEWSFLASH for you buddy, YOU’RE A TOTAL PUDWACKER!!!



  98. Not Funny.


  99. steve

    they should check that guy’s freezer for body parts


  100. hahaha…. i want this guys phone number… lol
    obviously the perfectly normal guy is the American Psycho.
    nice post ;)



  101. Jeanne

    I think maybe he should get off of that high horse he is riding around on. Talk about being conceded. Olga do yourself a favor and never hand out your business card again after speaking with someone for a very short time. There are crazy and sick people out there and this guy is one of them.



  102. DoggyHouse MD

    This guy has some really big issue. He’s probably abused by who knows maybe a bad priest or maybe his own dad. But he definitely needs to see doggy houser md. I mean this type of the guy you would see in crime tv where the man killed his woman and stuff like that. You said he’s smart? Yeah, smart assss it is.



  103. Kym

    Oh my goodness- what a catch. Olga what is wrong with you? I can’t believe that you didn’t grab the phone and call right back “WAIT- PLEASE- DIMITRI !!!!
    I’ve been searching my whole life for someone as perfect as YOU!!”
    (a perfect ass hole).



  104. Charlie

    This is fake! The guy is obviously gay, you can tell from his voice. He’s a closet homosexual, hence his anger and controlling nature, very anal retentive.



  105. Mark

    this is totally getting air play on the radio in the sf bay area.

    i’d love to hear how popular he is with the ladies now! loving his delusions!



  106. nina

    Olga should get the police to watch her apartment IMMEDIATELY. This guy not only has her phone number but her business card so he KNOWS where she works. He’s already—how should I put this delicately—SUPER CRAZY! Not just regular crazy, but drinks dirty bathwater, peanut butter and crack sandwiches, psycho crazy! I sense a good old fashion stalking coming on! He did say his last relationship was LONG DISTANCE a.k.a “She’s got a restraining order against me.” Olga humiliated him by playing these messages on the radio. You just know all of his friends are laughing at him–if he has any friends. Olga get a bodyguard honey, this fool is NUTS!



  107. dave

    Him calling her passive aggressive was farkin’ rich. Poor guy is obviously gay. There’s no way you can be that gruff about the opposite sex unless you detest it.



  108. Angela

    Ok I live in South Africa & we’ve heard of this loser here… Im ashamed to admit im also Greek but not a pathetic delusional one… I dont think im above all… Dimitri plz recognise why u r STILL single!