Hipster Watch: Fixie Or Fixed Gear Track Bikes
(I was about to buy HipsterWatch.com but it’s taken. If anyone wants to start HipsterWatch.net with me and keep close tabs on these GD hipsters, write me an email)
If you know anything about me, you know that nothing tightens my jaw up more is hipsters. Hipsters will do anything to be hip, and sometimes the things that they’ll do to be hip encroach on me just trying to live my regular non-trust funded life. Hipsters would probably wear a pizza as a hat if that was cool with the NY or SF hipsters. (Saved By The Bell Reference FTW. Here’s a picture of Kelly From Saved By The Bell’s Boobs for your trouble)
A prime example of this is the recent explosion in Fixie bikes or Fixed Gear bikes that i’ve seen around Los Angeles, clogging up the goddamned streets. I’m sure New York and San Francisco have had this for awhile (where riding a bike makes more sense) but the hipsters in LA are hot on their trail.
A Fixie Bike is a ten speed bike that is built to be a track bike, with no gears or brakes. More often than not, they are modified from a regular bike by some hipster because not having gears or brakes is minimalist and cool and semi-dangerous.
The hipster benefit here is two-fold:
On one hand you’re a wild and dangerous Puck from the Real World San Francisco messenger biker (who works at a production company or as a set designer), and on the other hand you’re saving the environment, man.
Well good for you, could you not do it on a 6 lane Boulevard during rush hour? I’ve hit almost two of these hipsters this week alone.
While most of you are probably saying to yourself “Right on Andy, give ‘em hell”, I actually don’t want to run over these hipsters and i’d hate to be charged with manslaughter because some guy didn’t think his manpurse delivery bag was pulling the look off like it once did.
I really hope this doesn’t catch on more. If you have a hipster friend please dissuade him from clogging our beautiful car-streets with his brakeless bicycle. Thanks.
Here’s a video of these things in action. While this video has an exciting background score and some cool footage please don’t get any ideas.
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Added, thanks for this post - it was a good read.
August 22nd, 2008 at 11:41 pmThomas
Man I so agree with you. They all dress the same, with their rolled up jeans and lookalike caps, aero front wheel, gloves and “manpurse” (haha good one). Most of the hipsters only meet up on short rides and only ride on flat terrain. But then what do you expect from a fixed gear bike? Then they proceed with their lame trick riding, which involves skidding, which leads to the destruction of their rear tire, so they can feel cool.
September 16th, 2008 at 9:20 am