10 Things I Dislike About Latina Women
1. They put an accent on spanish words even if they do not speak spanish. Like when ordering at taco bell. Annoying.
2. They often use the greetings “hola” or “hey papi” to remind you that you’re talking to someone who speaks Spanish and therefore is exotic. This causes me to revert to a spaceman language I made up when I ate too many mushrooms back at Lollapalooza ‘98.
3. They say “I Know Huh” in response to what you say, no matter what you say. ( I call these types “iknowhuhs”).
4. They all wear push up bras, even if they have giant roundies. All of them do. It’s false advertising no matter what. It’s like how pissed would they be if I wore a roll of soccer socks in my pants?
5. They always talk about how “their friends/family are the most important thing to them”. In the words of my loyal reader Horhay: Yeah your 2.5 friends who have pictures of their cats on their myspace page and your half-sister who is in rehab? Sure, I’d like to play second fiddle to them.
6. They all drive worse cars than you do. Sure your car sucks, but their car really sucks— and it has a baby seat in the back. And good luck getting them to drive anywhere while you’re at it.
7. They love dancing. Most women love dancing but latina chicks really love it. Vis a vis this means they love douchebags since only douchebags love dancing in any outward way. Prepare yourself for a tense conversation about whether the guy she danced with, Marco, “just touched her” or “put his finger in”.
Gross, I know, you said it you jealous bastard.
8. They All Say “Nuh-Uh”. These babes are skeptical. About everything. If they’re not saying iknowhuh they’re saying nuh-uh.
9. Brutally Jealous mixed with a relaxed “if I don’t know about it I don’t care” attitude about infidelity. This is, as you can imagine, difficult to navigate.
10. They’re pretty hot, and I guess this makes it all worth it. When I come back in my next life I want to not see hotness the way my liberal friends say they don’t see color.
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Jason
All true. I think #4 bothers me the most. The stereotype is that they’ve got killer asses. Why screw that up by pretending to have tits too? Be proud of what you have, ladies. If you have nothing at all, then sure fake it I guess.
December 3rd, 2008 at 8:19 amCesar Moves
I can relate to this ! , I’ve heard some goody things about this blog ! I bookmarked it on my favorites and will visit it again for more interesting posts like this one, Thanks
December 3rd, 2008 at 6:46 pmRachel
#1 annoys me too.
December 4th, 2008 at 2:05 pmRachel
It annoys me more when people that aren’t latin do it too. Like my cousin comes back from south america after taking a spanish immersion course and is now pronouncing everything spanish (and even some not in spanish) with a south american accent.
December 4th, 2008 at 4:04 pmmisanthropy today
Yeah it really irks me for some reason– oh wait, maybe here’s the reason YOU’RE SPEAKING ENGLISH. In english we call it a “burr-ito”, not a “boorrrito’”.
Do you pronounce all words borrowed from france with a french accent?
Greek words with a greek accent?
No you don’t. When you’re speaking a certain language you use the same accent for all words.
Witness the commercials in mexico for American businesses like pizza hut. The announcer will say “blah blah blah peeza hoot’ blah blah”.
December 4th, 2008 at 4:14 pmvhjkdvh
This is retarded
December 10th, 2008 at 12:05 amCrazy Hillbilly
In response to comment #5 - EXACTLY! Me and some of my friends were having the same conversation a few days ago. You hear people doing that all the time and often they will even correct you if you dont pronounce the words “correctly” yet at the same time “Do you pronounce all words borrowed from france with a french accent?”
For example a town near here is called Versailles. In French it is pronounced something like “Ver Sigh” but here it is pronounced “Ver sells”
It also annoys me when someone tries to put the rrrrrolll in the “r” sound but only in certain words that they think it is needed. Such as a radio announcer who is speaking normal English then gives an intro for Rodriguez with a heavy roll on the r’s. Too funny.
January 4th, 2009 at 9:11 am