A Few Unsettling Macgyver Facts
I set my TiVO to record Macgyver anytime its on the “Sleuth Network”, which is a very dumb name for a network.
I watch two episodes daily.
I really like this show, but there are a few things that are getting on my nerves:
Punches Knock Bad Guys Out Cold, But Not MacGyver
Macgyver usually hides behind a cardboard box and waits for the bad guys to look the other way and then he clocks them. They flip ass over teakettle and immediately look like an actor in a sleep medicine commercial, resting comfortably.
If a bad guy (who should be pretty good at punching) punches MacGyver he acts about how a normal person acts after getting punched.
An Umbrella Cannot Be Used As A Grappling Hook
In episode #26 titled “The Wish Child” Mac uses an everyday umbrella as a grappling hook to save him and some chinese boy from bad guys.
Yes you heard right. Macgyver, a fully grown man AND a child scaled a fence by using a rope and an everyday umbrella.
This is just insulting to anyone who has had their umbrella thrashed to hell by a strong wind to think that it could hold that much weight.
MacGyver Narrates The Earlier Episodes
It must be a time period thing because Magnum PI did the same thing, but it’s annoying. All Macgyver episodes start with what they call a Cold Open, meaning he’s already in the middle of some adventure. Him narrating is helpful to explain why he’s put himself in yet another cockamamie situation. Usually a friend has died. Macgyver is never seen having any fun with his friends but he has an endless amount of troubled friends who only call him when they’re in grave danger.
Macgyver Hates Guns And Wont Use Them
Yet he will fashion a projectile shooter using pressurized gas, a hose and a hollow metal tube loaded with a ball bearing.
This sounds an awful lot like a gun to me, probably worse since ball bearings are made from stainless steel (very solid) and bullets are made from lead (less solid).
What about guns does he object to and why does he think its more ethical to make some redneck gun than to just use one that is made by good old American workers?
A Hub Cap Will Not Knock A Person Out
Nor will getting hit with a flimsy plywood door, but definitely not a hubcab thrown like a frisbee. Hubcaps weigh like 8 ounces. I challenge anyone to come over to my backyard (bring your own hubcaps) and throw them at my head and if I get knocked out i’ll pay you $100.
Macgyver Always Meets Hot Babes
The Phoenix Foundation should get into the bachelor party business. Every assignment leads Mac to meet some hot babe that he either scores with or you think he’s going to score with her.
This is an exploitative plotline because it will make everyone watch the entire episode to see if Macgyver can close the deal. He rarely does. When he does its usually just kissing or he’ll walk out of her house in the morning with his arm around her.
Conversely, when I score with a chick I walk out of her house very late ate night and can be overheard making dumb excuses about how my grandmas 70th birthday is the next day and “I can’t believe I almost forgot it!”.
MacGyver’s Nemesis Will Always Allow Him A Chance To Live
Standing there with a pistol, Macgyver’s diabolical enemies always opt for a creative death for the special agent rather than just putting a few through his sweater.
Macgyver Changes Houses, But The Interior Stays Exactly The Same
For many episodes Mac lives in an apartment above a storefront on a street in Burbank, California. His place has high ceilings, redwood and a very fruity chain bannister staircase. His bedroom is elevated and has a handrail around it. Later he moves to a houseboat and takes everything with him, even the interior fixtures of his place in Burbank. I bet he didn’t get his deposit back.
Please feel free to share other Macgyver stories or observations below.
Here’s a video of Macgyver knocking some jive turkey out cold while Jessica Simpson looks on:
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But…Mcguyver was hot:
http://spectacle.provocateuse.com/images/spectacles/richard_dean_anderson_04.jpg
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too funny!!!
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I like MacGuyver … and there are indeed some fishy things.
But as for the hub cap: I’m up for the challenge. I’m not accurate (have you noticed MacGuyver seem to have this wicked aim!?), but if you don’t mind risking a concussion, I’ll attempt to chuck one at you at your temple or at your occiput.
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Come on over.