Bear Suit Guy At Burning Man

Hey I do requests apparently:

So theres this guy at burning man who dresses in a bear suit and goes around dicking almost every chick there.

Some key points:

1. The bear suit is not like the type that are made to look like a real bear. It’s the type that looks like a tall skinny cartoon bear.
2. It’s a two piece bear suit, meaning the legs are like pants and the chest-arms part is like a shirt but thicker and fuzzier. The head is removable. He pulls the pants-part down slightly when he lays pipe.
3. The interesting part of this is the psychology of it: twitty burning man girls forget that its a real guy in there so to them spreading their legs for the bear suit guy is like kissing an amusement park character in a photo.
4. This guy probably gets his bear suit dry cleaned.
5. Bear Suit Guy is a trooper: he’s up early and lays indiscriminate pipe around the clock.
6. Bear Suit Guy may actual be several guys who rotate the costume; I just realized my lone shooter theory is pretty dumb but somehow made the story more interesting to me, and probably to you too. I’m willing to kill a good story in the name of verity.
7. When not dipping his wick, Bear Suit Guy is often seen dancing (badly), drinking water and mooching food.
8. Bear suit guy is a non-smoker but likes to do drugs (obviously).
9. I hate Bear Suit Guy for some reason.

The Above Photo is a photo of a guy at burning man in a bear suit, but not our culprit. If anyone finds photos of possible suspects please post them in the comments section and i’ll try to ID him.

ADDENDUM: Bear suit guy probably poked this chick:

And This One Too:

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Reader's Comments

1. 

   Maybe it’s John Mayer. Its the only possible explanation for why he gets any.
   http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2006/10/12/why-would-john-mayer-wear-a-bear-suit-for-sheryl-crow/

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2. Willem Dafoe is a Shithead on 03 Jun 2007 1:22 pm
3. 

   maybe

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4. andyfox1979 on 28 Jul 2007 6:08 pm
5. 

   Burning Man rox. You don’t even know what it is about

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6. RT on 26 Aug 2007 5:09 pm
7. 

   No I have a pretty good idea what it’s about.. And I heard this year is gonna suck because all of the real estate dbags who made a bunch of money are gonna be there, encroaching on the dot com yuppies territory.

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8. andyfox1979 on 27 Aug 2007 3:14 am
9. 

   I’ve been to Burning Man three years in a row. I like to show up in my class As and tell people I’m recruiting. if there’s anything hippies can’t stomach, it’s the United States Marine Corps.

   Semper Fi.

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10. Avi Friedman on 09 Sep 2007 11:12 pm
11. 

    hoorah

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12. andyfox1979 on 09 Sep 2007 11:23 pm
13. 

    I don’t even know what Burning Man is about.

    Rate This Comment: 0  1

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14. Stiletto on 29 Oct 2007 8:44 am
15. 

    Burning Man is scary…

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16. Bill on 04 Jun 2008 10:23 pm
17. 

    You’d hate it, you shouldn’t go…

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18. Sinatra (nancy) on 25 Jan 2010 10:22 pm