Both Sides Are Wrong About Health Care And I’m Right
On the health care debate there are two sides with two distinct and equally annoying salesmen.
On the other side is the wingnut soccer moms and dads who, while I can associate with them more than the above types I still think they are too drunk on team politic punch to really apply their core values to this issue and instead their opinions on this comes down from their leaders who benefit financially from maintaining the status quo. Both sides, please consider the source of your ideas.
Then there’s me.
A little introduction, i’m a guy who throughout his life had health insurance about 30% of the time and has seen that the state/county hospital really sucks and is about as undignified as using food stamps and that private hospitals or clinics are ok but generally suck too because we’re talking about medical health here, not the Health Spa that my Uncle Richard goes to for “prostate massages”. I live in China now and get my health care here if its something simple and in Hong Kong if it’s something that requires that I deal with someone who can speak english.
A Few Ground Rules:
In general, going to the doctor sucks, but is sometimes necessary so let’s stop acting like it’s gonna be some huge party once this shit passes. I can’t believe you assholes are my peers getting all excited about health care. You guys could get tricked into a multilevel marketing scam if you aren’t careful.
And don’t start in about preventative care. The only person I know that gets preventative care is my Uncle Richard with his prostate. He’s a hypochondriac about that prostate of his.
Because you people like different ideas organized into numbered lists so that you don’t confuse two separate ideas and can comment something like: “me think number five is the bestor” , but know that i’m getting tired of it:
1. The Problems Are Government and Corporations, They Are Not The Solutions
First thing is the government is the last thing you want involved (or in control of) anything that is important to you. I don’t need to cite examples. You’ve dealt with the government before. They aren’t interested in long term solutions to make your life easier, they’re interested in long term control to make their lives easier. This is their reason de etra.
Corporations are legal (read: government) entities, usually publicly owned (read: majority owned and managed by a dozen very rich assholes with big round golf asses who are chummy with the government guys previously mentioned with similar golf asses) . Break up the corporations somehow. When I was a kid I got a check up once per year and it cost about $25. These cockwaffles come along and say “oh hey, but what if you don’t need a checkup? Why not just pay a fraction of that every month and if you do need it we’ll pay for it?” We got conned because we’re cheap and greedy, which is why anyone ever gets conned.
2. Put State & Federal Money Into Medical Schools
You’d be surprised but most medical care is pretty easy stuff. Not every doctor is House, MD and most people don’t need House, MD. My arm is red. Here put this cream on it. Something bad is growing on me, here i’ll cut it off with a knife. I feel sick. Oh here let me take your blood. Are you gonna go look at it under a microscope? Haha, no silly chap I’ll send it to a laboratory (read: factory full of Indians with degrees in Chemistry or Physics) and then believe whatever they ascertain and follow whatever this book says I should do.
If every University in the US had a medical school a lot more people would be able to become doctors and with a lot more doctors running around it might make that pencil-dick who sends your blood to the Indians in the office park think twice about turning in his $90,000 Porsche SUV for a new one this year. Checkups will cost $25 again, cash.
3. Relax The Drug Laws
Here in China (and many other places) if you need a certain drug you go to the pharmacy and buy it. I’m sure this makes yuppie democrats clutch their pearls but really how many times do you need to visit your doctor with a sinus infection to know that he’s going to give you 500MG of Amoxycillin 3 times per day for 10 days? There’s a wealth of information available online and by phone. Recently as a result of my house cleaner trying to save a few bucks on washing powder and a very humid and hot week I developed a rash. My first thought was to go to the doctor in Hong Kong but then I stopped by the pharmacy and showed the pharmacist the rash on my arm and he pointed me to a shelf with allergy medications. Not a single word was spoken between us. A few days later, i’m cured! My rash didn’t require government or corporation intervention, it required that they stayed the fuck away from me and my rash. My medicine cost less than $1.
4. Give Doctors and Hospitals Tax Breaks, Not Cash
Twice a year the entire school takes a field trip to the medical center. Their send their kids to school with a sawbuck for the trip and the government gives the hospital a $15 tax credit for each kid. Send them in assembly line style, teach them a little about medicine and nutrition and let the doctors look the little bastards over. Give them business cards if they have any problems come on back, bring another sawbuck. Tell them to go to the store and pay $1 for the allergy medication. Voila, health care for all children. This could apply for others too, but the field trip example is easy.
5. Stop The FDA’s Bullshit
The FDA makes creating and distributing drugs very expensive because their tests are too rigorous. That’s why there’s like 5 drug companies, nobody else has the dough for the clinical trials and everything required. Make the standards simple and make people sign a waiver when trying an experimental drug. Sure a lot of people will have some adverse affects but a lot of new useful drugs will become available for less money. Look at how often drugs turn out to be bad for people and yet the FDA’s rigorous standards still can’t catch it. The reason why people get killed over illegal drugs is because they are expensive because they are illegal. The government indirectly subsidizes illegal and legal drugs high costs.
6. Treat Overcharging and Price Gouging As You Would Treat Any Consumer Fraud
$75 for a hospital gown? $45 for 3 pills? $500 for an ex-ray. How are these prices not laughed at or prosecuted?
A hospital gown that is made of a cottony-paper material should cost no more than $1. Don’t know where to buy it for that price? Well, let me introduce you to my friend China.
7. Let The Free Market Decide
Your uncle has cancer. He needs chemotherapy and surgery. He has no insurance. What does chemotherapy really cost? Does anyone know? Let’s find out. Why do we act like medicine isn’t something you can bargain hunt for? In “developing nations” you go to a street that has 10 dentist offices and walk in like you’re buying any other service and the free market decides the price. I got a wisdom tooth pulled last week at a very nice and clean hospital. It cost $25 including medication. This is possible in America.
8. Stop Watching TV Shows About Doctors
This only reinforces their demigod status and their ability to charge high prices. Sure there will always be specialists but as we’ve discussed most medicine is rather straightforward and sometimes crass by modern ideas. Would lowering the standards for becoming a doctor mean that we have less qualified doctors? I don’t think it would. This presumes that every doctor with our current system is well-qualified. It’s like the old joke, what do you call a person who graduated at the bottom of his medical school class? Doctor. Competition is always good and truth be told rich people will have the same “quality” (read: doctors who went to a school that has a good football team) of doctors that they have now and poor people will have the same quality they have now (just a lot more of them).
9. Give Tax Breaks And Loans To Factory Owners
There’s plenty of shitholes in the US that would be beautified by a big smoky factory full of aimless young people cranking out medical equipment and supplies.
One thing I think the United States needs to really grasp is that we are not too good to produce our own products. There was actually a time when “Made In America” meant that whatever it is you were holding was well-made and strong because Americans are such brawny bastards we need things to be strong so we don’t break them like Chris Farley used to break that little jacket.
China has factories and working at a factory isn’t the hell you might imagine. It’s actually a stepping stone to a better job and anyone can get a job at a factory. Minimum wage laws might make people feel warm and fuzzy but it’s a proven fact that they don’t improve anyone’s standard of living. Throw them out the window.
With a bunch of factories making medical equipment and a bunch of doctors running around getting the best price on this stuff you’ll be able to get your wisdom tooth pulled for $25.
10. Stop Listening To People Who’ve Never Been To A County Hospital When They Talk About Public Health Care
Rich Boy Jon Stewart and all the politicians in DC want to let you eat cake but they don’t realize that we don’t have bread, nonetheless cake. We’ve been to the shitholes that they think with the right amount of money will be medical Disneylands. They won’t be medical disneylands. Nothing the government makes every looks or works nice.
No matter what they will still go to nice hospitals and you’ll end up at whatever Frankenstein shithole their experiment turns all the hospitals into.
Ever sit at DMV and analyze how everything there works and think of a dozen ways it could be better and maybe share some of that insight with a worker who tells you to shut the fuck up because the DMV is like a free public service or whatever? Well it’s not free, and if you haven’t, try it sometime.
These suggestions would fix the health care system in the US but they would never happen because they would be too helpful to ordinary individuals and useless to middle aged men with big muffin asses and tee times at 8 am on workdays.
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Tagged with health care, jon stewart, liberals, misanthropy, solutions
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Wow. That was a very reasoned analysis filled with practical suggestions for improving healthcare in this country. These ideas must be crushed immediately before they damage the dogma of the politicos. The goons are gassing up the van. Sorry about that.
BTW: Small typo or two in this sentence:
“Nothing the government makes [every] looks or works nice.”
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re: the typos sometimes i write this stuff too fast and don’t pay attention. i’ll fix them as my schedule permits. heh.
There is something worng with every health service. especially the NHS, you like methicillin resistant staphylococcus aureus we have lots of it. I think that because our health care is free some lazy arse nurse thinks she can give substandard care and contribute towards our shitty health service even more by not washing her hands. I have made three correct diagnoses, our health service is as shitty. It will fail soon enougth. Anyways great to hear from you again.
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Thanks. Misanthropist. For those wondering he is from the UK (based on his email address). NHS is national health service i’m guessing.
America used to be about crazy new ideas and innovation. Now we look to Sweden for our inspiration? Come on.
Like anything else, its our ego that will kill us.
Yeah I know what you mean, its much easier to become a doctor in the USA and they don’t rape your finances to pay for the course.
Yeah you were right about the NHS. Sweden is good but sigmund fraud is likely to euthanise you and steal your belongings. Assisted suicide is a big debate right now, if somebody wants to die then let them but people cannot be trusted and is open to massive abuse so I don’t think it should ever be legalised.
Luckily american hospitals do better than ours due to good funding the NHS is shit and not very well funded. I think around 1000 patients died at this hospital. The staff didn’t care/ were retarded/ badly funded. Our health service is a joke and the rest of the island is a fucking pantomime. I may even emigrate to america starting in indiana then go from there.
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so the healthcare bill passed. my suggestions would be 1000X cheaper and more effective than their bullshit that tries to play by the current rules in the current arena. me for president in 2025
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Dear Author: You now have a new fan. Love, Me.
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