Misanthropy Today

Yesterday for Thanksgiving I received 10 generic fwd style text messages that all looked something like this: Gobble Gobble, Happy Turkey Day!:) Or Hey Everyone Have A Happy T Day! ^_^ A couple things: People do usually eat turkeys on Thanksgiving but the entire day is not about turkey. I think it’s weird when people call it “turkey day”. [...]

When you’re wronged your first instinct might be to dust off your flamethrower and be prepared to crawl into any sewer drain in Chinatown to find the perpetrators. I just write bad stuff about them here instead. Here’s what happened to me: Around the age of 28 I became very interested in my credit score and joined [...]

I got this email today from the Republican National Convention. ———————————————————————————– Dear Andy, As a top supporter of the RNC, I am offering you a special opportunity to help support our Party and give a gift to your favorite Republicans this Holiday Season. Just in time to complete your Christmas wish list, meet Nick, the newest member of [...]

Background: I had the pleasure of meeting a disgustingly smelly manager at my local U Haul franchise today.This guy smelled like he jogged 4 miles then rolled around in an industrial sized litterbox that services the refuse needs of 50 large cats. I really hate smelly people, and as winter comes, people think they need to bathe [...]

I like cliches. Especially cheesy or vague cliches. One sunday back in March I tried to speak in all cliches, which is something that my friend Pete Pelmo does almost every day of the year, and he largely inspired this list. The thing is, cliches are going away because the oral tradition in our country is [...]

Some friends and I were arranging an exotic dancer for a friend’s going away party and learned the hard way that *67 doesn’t work to block your number from cell phones anymore. It won’t show up as “restricted” or “private caller” it shows up now as, well, you. My friend who’s in the real estate business, [...]

Good Evening. I’m at my old apartment that I subletted awhile ago and am now vacating. I’m here cleaning and packing some things and  i decide to hop on the intertron. Because I don’t live here I don’t have phone or cable, blah blah. In an apartment building you can always expect that a few decent non-child molester [...]