Children In Advertising

By Dan Y.

I can’t stand children in advertising because it combines two of my least favorite things in the world: children and advertising. I don’t want some 4 year old talking down to me, telling me why I should buy some shitty product. If you watch a commercial with a child spokesman, buy the product, and then realize it’s a piece of shit, then guess what? You just got tricked by a toddler. Let that sink in for a moment.

Some people consider using children in commercials to be child exploitation. While I agree that it is in fact child exploitation, and that child exploitation is awesome, I still don’t think that kids should ever be used to sell a product. I have to deal with kids enough as it is, I don’t want to have to see them when I watch TV. If you want to exploit children, you should put them back in the factories to make the product, not have them promote it.

Time to start making those hard hats in children’s sizes again.

Here’s an example of why a child should never be used in an advertisement.

Unbelievable. I get the strategy here. A lot of people think that PCs are complicated. So rather than explaining and showing how using Windows is easy, they put a little kid in the commercial to shame anyone who thought that this operating system was too complicated for them. “Oh, you aren’t smart enough to figure this out? Well this ‘four and a half’ year old could. You must be retarded.” And on a side note, why do little kids measure their age in half years? Who taught them fractions?

The other reason this commercial pisses me off is that I just don’t believe it. I mean, this kid can barely form complete sentences, yet she’s a fucking expert at using her computer to send her family pictures of her ugly fucking face. If I were her dad I wouldn’t let her send me pictures of her. I’d probably give her a fake email address so that when she sent the pictures I could show her that I never got them, and then laugh in her face for doing it wrong. I’d tell her that you have to be at least “four and three quarters” to use email. That would lower her self-esteem enough so that millions of people across the country wouldn’t have to watch her gloat about her ability to upload and email pictures.

Another Example

The main problem with this commercial is that it establishes a faulty premise; parents should care about their children’s preferences. If I ever have kids, which is unlikely, they will eat what I buy for them. If they don’t like it then they don’t have to eat. Also, where did this kid get her fucking attitude? She berates her mom for getting minced fish. “What is this, minced? You feed me minced?!?” Who on earth would teach their child to ask rhetorical questions?

In conclusion, don’t use children in commercials. I’d choose a product made by a child rather than one promoted by a child any day. I know that almost every rule or theory has an exception. This is no different. Enjoy.


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One Comment

on “Children In Advertising
One Comment on “Children In Advertising
  1. “The main problem with this commercial is that it establishes a faulty premise; parents should care about their children’s preferences. If I ever have kids, which is unlikely, they will eat what I buy for them.”

    Dan, this is because you don’t know what persistent and selfish little monsters children can be

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