Cowboys wtf?

Thursday, 19 Mar 2009

3 Comments

By guest writer Larry Linn, who hates cowboys and other people too. AF

So lately I have been forced to spend a good deal of time in Ft. Worth TX and  notice the preponderance of local yahoos decked out in cowboy attire.  Sure this is “Cowtown” and there are a lot of ranches and horses and stuff, but for crying out loud, is dressing up every friggen day of your life and  pretending to be Randolph Scott really necessary?

Above, Randolph "A Real Cowboy Would Go By Randy" Scott

I  just think it’s silly to dress like a cowboy unless you actually ride a horse on a regular basis or work on a ranch.  Anyone not involved in cowboy duties and still wearing a hat and boots is completely and utterly ridiculous and should probably be removed from society (forcibly if possible).  They are basically wearing a Halloween costume year round.  Is that any different than if I was to dress up like a fireman or police officer or astronaut all the time?  No, it’s not any different.  In fact, it’s similarly silly and constitutes fraud.

I would love to see a group of these posers mulling about trying to look like they have a pair and then actually be faced with some sort of cowboy emergency.  Maybe some doggies need to be punched or a steer needs to be wrangled (whatever the hell that means) or maybe even a damsel in distress needs to be rescued.  I would thoroughly enjoy watching some brazen bovines running amok or a sexy saloon girl being carried off by a band of drunken, thieving Indians  while these pretentious idiots just stand there helpless.  Helpless, because they’re not friggen cowboys!

So all you John Wayne wannabes and pseudo High Plains Drifters,  please leave your fake cowboy get-up at home and wear something more sensible and practical when out in public.  Like a Viking costume!

Random _Posts

Posted in misanthropy
Tagged with cowboys, ft worth, stupid, suck

Subscribe Feed | Leave a Comment | Bookmark & Share

Reader's Comments

1. 

   Go Larry! Funny stuff.

   Reply to this comment
2. captain ted on 20 Mar 2009 5:28 am
3. 

   yes this is very funny larry. I feel the same way about guys who get dressed up as rappers or rock stars everyday. Halloween year round.

   Reply to this comment
4. andyfox1979 on 21 Mar 2009 3:55 pm
5. 

   at least you dont live in fort worth…

   tcu’s campus can be a rodeo from august to may

   Reply to this comment
6. Sam on 29 Mar 2009 7:43 pm