I’ve come to understand that everyone, after a difficult relationship (family, work, friend, romantic), seeks out revenge by behaving in the exact way that they were harmed in that relationship.
For instance, women who’ve have been flagrantly cheated on by their boyfriends, often seek revenge by… becoming sluts.
I believe that we pay by the sin, and not for the sin. Being a good person is its’ own reward as being a bad person brings along its own punishment.
After spending the night giving a stripper (who probably has a black boyfriend.. not that it matters, just sayin’) Jacksons to rub you off through your sweatpants, coming home to your loving naïve girlfriend probably feels pretty bad.
By doing that sort of thing, you become that person. It doesn’t matter that you have reasons and are able to mentally pardon yourself. You are the choices you make.
I recently had a situation where an ex girlfriend liked to spend a lot of money (mine, mostly) on all kinds of stupid shit. Now that we’ve broken up, I find myself spending copious amounts of money to like “show her” that I can still do that behavior (which I find appalling) and she can’t.
So in trying to spite her I am behaving like her and becoming her.
God, am i dumb.
I also became a unrepentant cad and cooze-hound in college after finding out that a girlfriend of 2 years had been cheating on me very regularly. In retrospect what would have shown her that she was trash and I was not would be to find someone decent and solid and have a meaningful relationship with them. Get engaged. Take those couple pictures at the mall. Make eye contact during sex. That kind of thing.
By the time I saw her next I had probably gotten laid more times on accident than she did on purpose. What did I win? Not much except some bad habits that would take awhile to sort myself out of.
Anyhow, revenge is useless because it invariably involves you doing the exact thing you decided was unforgivable in the person you’re retaliating against.