Hipster Watch: Fixie Or Fixed Gear Track Bikes
If you know anything about me, you know that nothing tightens my jaw up more than hipsters. Hipsters will do anything to be hip, and sometimes the things that they’ll do to be hip encroach on me just trying to live my regular non-trust funded life. Hipsters would probably wear a pizza as a hat if that was cool with the NY or SF hipsters. (Saved By The Bell Reference . Here’s a picture of Kelly From Saved By The Bell’s Boobs for your trouble)
A prime example of this is the recent explosion in Fixie bikes or Fixed Gear bikes that i’ve seen around Los Angeles, clogging up the goddamned streets. I’m sure New York and San Francisco have had this for awhile (where riding a bike makes more sense) but the hipsters in LA are hot on their trail.
A Fixie Bike is a ten speed bike that is built to be a track bike, with no gears or brakes. More often than not, they are modified from a regular bike by some hipster because not having gears or brakes is minimalist and cool and semi-dangerous.
The hipster benefit here is two-fold:
On one hand you’re a wild and dangerous Puck from the Real World San Francisco messenger biker (who works at a production company or as a set designer), and on the other hand you’re saving the environment, man.
Well good for you, could you not do it on a 6 lane Boulevard during rush hour? I’ve hit almost two of these hipsters this week alone.
While most of you are probably saying to yourself “Right on Andy, give ‘em hell”, I actually don’t want to run over these hipsters and i’d hate to be charged with manslaughter because some guy didn’t think his manpurse delivery bag was pulling the look off like it once did.
I really hope this doesn’t catch on more. If you have a hipster friend please dissuade him from clogging our beautiful car-streets with his brakeless bicycle. Thanks.
Here’s a video of these things in action. While this video has an exciting background score and some cool footage please don’t get any ideas.
RandomRED“> Posts
Loading…
value=”YToxOntzOjc6InBvc3RfaWQiO2k6Mjg5O30=” />
Loading ...
Added, thanks for this post – it was a good read.
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
Man I so agree with you. They all dress the same, with their rolled up jeans and lookalike caps, aero front wheel, gloves and “manpurse” (haha good one). Most of the hipsters only meet up on short rides and only ride on flat terrain. But then what do you expect from a fixed gear bike? Then they proceed with their lame trick riding, which involves skidding, which leads to the destruction of their rear tire, so they can feel cool.
Rate This Comment:
1 
2
Oh Boo-fucking-hoo. at least they’re on a bike in the first place instead of a car like this jerk. and just because there are some people like that, all the fixie riders I’ve known commute 20+ miles on their bikes. So dont judge every rider.
Hot debate. What do you think?
5 
3
but i want to judge every rider.
Here let me rewrite this post:
fixies are both cool and sweet and also not that sweet, it depends on your opinion really. Well, thats all I have to say about that.
Ashley, I could use your guidance when I write posts on here if you’ve got the time.
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
Your a bit of a douchbag…
just because this idea doesnt appeal to you doesnt mean that you have to talk crap about them. I dont talk crap about you being a fat american who sits on his ass all day and has fucked up teeth now do I?
Rate This Comment:
4 
2
“I really hope this doesn’t catch on more. If you have a hipster friend please dissuade him from clogging our beautiful car-streets with his brakeless bicycle. Thanks.”
your an idiot, its called commuting its alot like getting to work in a car except its three times as fast and your not sitting in a metal box that cost half a years salary slowly chugging through your precious fuel.
so we ask you to stop clogging our streets with your expensive pollution box,
and watch out for cyclists you seem like a dangerous driver, we have as much right to me there as you,
Rate This Comment:
4 
1
“have as much right to me there as you”
classy, and also that is false, you do not.
Rate This Comment:
1 
2
What a Doosh. Sure, some kids are doing it because it’s “cool”. But people also wear Hurley T-shirts in Kansas where there is no ocean in sight. I ride me Fixie cause it’s FAST as hell. I can get around town faster on that than my car. And even if the car is a LITTLE faster, the fixie is more fun. I still OWN a car and use it when it makes sense like loading up on groceries, but a quick under 5 mile jaunt around town on my commuter bike is marvelous.
Rate This Comment:
1 
0
Listen, Fixed gear bikes have been around for a couple of centuries. The founder of the Tour de France road nothing but fixed gear bikes. I myself ride a fixed gear bike as a training bike because it makes you a stronger cyclist. This has turned into a subculture of the cycle community lately because bmx bikes are not good for commuting but you can do tricks on a fixed gear and ride it for your main source of transportation. Bicycles deserve every right your fucking car does on the road. This kind of attitude is what is wrong with united states. Get a life you douche bag.
Rate This Comment:
2 
2
Uh, no. You can “do tricks” just as well on a geared bike. In fact, go look up Danny MacAskill. He rides a mountain bike set up as a trials bike, with gears, and brakes, and a freewheel hub, and there is not one fixie rider pro or otherwise that can touch what he does. Wonka is not fit to lick Danny’s diarrhea from a plate. Just admit that if you ride fixed you’re trying to look cool and are willing to sacrifice practicality to do so. There’s nothing wrong with admitting it.
Rate This Comment:
3 
2
All you fucking mcdonald eating fucking rush hour dicks dress the same polos and fucking crocs and cargo pants.
Rate This Comment:
2 
0
Next time i see a cyclist on the road I’m gonna’ open my window and grab onto the bike so I can get a free ride and save on gas. Also I should start dodging and wiving through traffic and driving on sidewalks.
Why in the hell would you remove the brakes? What are the aluminum castings too heavy, perhaps the cables weigh a ton?
Rate This Comment:
1 
1
Andy, You sir are a true idiot. You are very misinformed so please do some homework before you go hating on these hipsters. They are not at all ten speed bikes. These bikes are mostly all track bikes that you ride on the velodrome. So please please please do some researching before you try to be all cool and bag on people.
Rate This Comment:
1 
0
Thanks Matt. Must be tough being a hipster down in San Diego, what with all the hippies and beach bums and lack of big brick NY style buildings to drink pabst in front of.
I guess that makes your banksy inspired t-shirt and brakeless bike that much cooler though.
Anyhow, I stand corrected, fixie bikes aren’t ten speeds, they’re track bikes that you could ride on a velodrome. What’s a velodrome though? I don’t know. Matt please come back and tell us what a velodrome is you smart hipster.
Rate This Comment:
0 
1
re: “I ride me Fixie cause it’s FAST as hell”… umm, geared road bikes are FASTER and MORE EFFICIENT. If you are going to douche around a city in a bike that isn’t efficient, at least admit you are doing it to be “different”. heck, take it to the next level and just admit that you are one of the goth kids from south park: “If you wanna be one of the non-conformists, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do.”
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
I’m trying to see if the phrase “fixie la douche” will catch on. You can find a definition here:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fixie+la+douche
Rate This Comment:
1 
0
There is no question that the recent explosion of “fixies” popularity among hipsters has resulted in a huge number of dildos riding idiot bikes that they cannot control. Add knickers, sprinkle with nerd powder. Personally, I don’t mind if you knick a few over the high side on corners. They are idiots and must not be allowed to replicate.
Rate This Comment:
0 
1
you’re a terrible person. People with YOUR mind set shouldn’t reciprocate, which is probably why there’s still global warming, crocs, and mcdonalds.
Rate This Comment:
1 
1
You are a fucking moron, I can’t believe I’m even reading this. I don’t ride a fixie, but I do ride a bike, and it disgusts me that you hate on bikes so much. I think the great thing about the fixie craze is that at least it’s a healthy hobby for the earth and for people, and everyone should ride bikes more often and not be such lazy assholes like yourself who sit in traffic all day and suck at driving. You’re probably just jealous that while you’re sitting in traffic that hipster on a fixie is passing you.
And wait, why the fuck is it not appropriate to ride a bike in los angeles? the whole city is mostly FLAT. It’s an excellent place to ride a bike. I know lots of people who commute on bikes over 20 miles a day and they probably are a lot healthier than you.
And maybe you should fucking look over your shoulder like you’re supposed to and stop getting dangerously close to my harmless fellow riders.
I can’t even believe this, this is what’s fucking wrong with america. You’re like the father in matilda, hating on matilda for being smart. You’re just hating on people who are healthy.
Rate This Comment:
3 
0
Waaaaahhhh. Assholes on bikes are just like assholes in cars – overconfident in their (usually shitty) driving abilities. It’s not always necessary in a car to look over your shoulder, you’ve got three mirrors to back you up. Bikers almost NEVER look where the fuck they’re going, lest a precious hair move from their beloved just-disheveled-enough head or their $200 Ray-Bans fall into traffic. He’s not hating on people who are healthy, he’s hating on the dumbfucks who don’t get out of the way for a 1,500lb hunk of metal coming at you. If you’re so pissed off, why don’t you lobby for more bike lanes? Or would that get in the way of your Hipster factoid checking, like being able to mention Matilda at the drop of a hat? Oh Roald Dahl, you’re so IN right now.
Rate This Comment:
0 
1
The thing about cyclists, hundreds are killed every year! Usually their own fault. Idiots should stick to walking.
Rate This Comment:
0 
1
do they sale the wheels what with the hokey spokes?
cause those do make the kids bicycles look the fast!
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
i’d love to see a new/updated rant about the fixie craze…obviously it hasn’t gone away (much to the displeasure of the non-hipster community)…and these idiots still think that traffic laws don’t apply to them because they are “saving the planet”
thanks for sharing your opinions in an honest and enjoyable way
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
Hipsters do in fact suck. Fixies, which predate hipsters by at least a century, are awesome. Brakeless fixies are retarded outside the Velodrome.
Lets get down to the heart of the matter of this post though.
If you want to drive on streets without bicycles, get on the freeway. Its that simple. Sure there are shitty riders, but there are just as many shitty drivers.
Rate This Comment:
3 
0
There’s a fixed gear bike craze goin on? How did I not know about it?! I’ve had bmx bikers make fun of me when I rode with my fixie now they’re doin it?! And what? Now its hip to dress the way I do?! Mannnn I used to get made fun of allll the time cuz I was different… Tight jeans checkered vans with my raybans riding all day everyday I even had a bitch bag messenger… But that was twelve years ago… Man and now its totally cool? So its hip to be unhip… Strange… As for motorists…instead of crying about it why don’t you all just “accidentally” run as many cyclists as you can! It’ll be fun! And while you’re at it you can get that one over there… You don’t see her? Right there! The little girl riding on her fixed gear bike and training wheels with the purple and pink handle bar streamers! 5 million points! … Hipsters aren’t the only ones who ride fixies… Little kids do too… So if you wanna take one out you gotta take out the rest of em as my good ol pal musolini and hitler used to say KiLL THEM ALL! The little ones too! And the jews! And the chinese! And the bicyclists and the dolphins! And your mother while we’re at it! How about your girlfriend TOO! And let’s kill my little brother too! Hahahahhaha Hahahah ahahaha KiLL THEM ALL!!! !!! !!!
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
I live in SF and dont understand the “fixie” phenomenon. Especially living in a city with big ass hills. I’ll take brakes and gears with my bike please(I dont actually own a bike but if I did that previous statement would be true:)
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
i just realized that the bike i had when i was a little kid was fixed gear. i must have been a hipster when i was 5. shit yeah i was cool
Rate This Comment:
2 
0
you are a fucking idiot. Ripping on hipsters is fair game, but you anti-cyclist attitude is fucking archaic. At least they are not filling the air with shit, like your fat ass, sitting in a two ton metal box designed to carry 5 people, but is only filled with one fat ass on their way to work, clogging up the roads. And yea, there are bad cyclists, but there are just as many bad drivers, but when you hit someone with a bike no one dies.
Rate This Comment:
2 
0
Whining about hipsters is nothing new. There will always be some “hipster” counterculture with various “non-conformist” ways to show you belong to that group. Everyone else
GET OVER IT!!
@ Motorists: cyclists have just as much right to the street as motorists, they pay the same taxes everyone else does that pays for the roads.
@ Cyclists: obey the rules of the road and stop thinking you are above the law. Your poo stinks too.
Rate This Comment:
2 
0
This pseudo-luddite bullshit the hipsters are espousing is just a sad way to show how cool they are. The fact is, geared bikes are more efficient and not having brakes is fucking retarded. If you’re against technology, drop the bike, take off your shoes and fucking walk to work barefoot. But, of course, they’re not really against technology at all. They all have Macbooks that were developed and manufactured by exactly the types of people they profess to hate. Bunch of hypocrites. They eat all organic food but smoke. They ride fixed bikes that wouldn’t work on anything but the roads built for the cars they loathe. Get off your high horses, hipsters. You sponge off the productive people.
Rate This Comment:
2 
1
“HIPSTERS” Has existed since the 1950′s, this is not a new word to describe “trendy douchebag”.
At the end of the day, the lot of you are trendy douchebags whether you ride a bike or drive a car. you’re fucking lemmings and slave to corporations.
So eat a nice big burger full of American cock and shut the fuck up until you have something intelligent to argue about.
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
Ha ha hipsters need to lighten up! I ride a bike everyday with brakes AND i live in LA… but really.. fixie hipsters are UUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTIGGGGGGGGGHTTTTTTTTT clearly……
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
Fuck Thomas and every other environmentalist. A bike is not as viable a means of transportation as a car. Bike riders aren’t owed any of the streets.
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
you’re an ignorant twat.
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
Fixies = SUCK
Think for yourself!
Rate This Comment:
1 
1
Does this mean Kevin Bacon is cool again? Hold on, I need to watch Footloose, Flatliners and Quicksilver again.
Rate This Comment:
1 
0
What cracks me up about hipsters is their obsession with being different, when actually they are the ones following trends. Skinny jeans, Ray-bans, horrible facial hair, fixies, PBR….it’s a “hey look…I’m different” trend that’s already been done. Hipsters were wiggers/ new metal kids that are just trying to fit in now. The joke is on them. They are the trend.
Rate This Comment:
0 
0
“Fixies = SUCK
Think for yourself!”
If people like fixies, then, as you so nicely put it, let them think for themselves and have an opinion other than yours.
Rate This Comment:
0 
0