I Don’t Feel Very Sorry For Bernie Madoff’s Victims

People shouldn’t swindle others out of money but you probably also shouldn’t expect to make huge, unlikely profits from the wealth you already have without getting off your ass and doing anything.

And let’s keep in mind, these were/are all very wealthy people.

I don’t know very much about investing but everyone knows that the key to investing is diversity.Don’t put all your money in one bank. I have three bank accounts. If something happens to one, say some nigerian scammer gets ahold of it or whatever— well you won’t see me over at Jennifer’s house singing the blues over Chardonnay. Saying things like:

I can’t believe this happened to me.

I’ll call my bank, aprise them of the situation and use my other accounts in the meantime.

Now anyone who has a few million bucks kicking around to invest (as opposed to just keeping it somewhat liquid by self-investing) is hard to feel sorry for, whether they worked hard for it or someone in their family once worked hard for it.

Of course, they were driven by greed. If you’re making decisions out of blind greed I think things like this will probably happen to you, and if old Bernie is sending you 25% of your investment annually and you’re living high on the hog off of that, according to my math you probably got most of your money back– you just thought you weren’t spending the principal. Doh!

One other thing few people are mentioning is that the majority of his major client list was Jewish. If something was going to dispel the anti-semitic belief that Jews are greedy, or  are attempting to horde their money amongst themselves— well, this isn’t it.

My thinking is that these people probably thought Bernie Madoff was doing some excellently shady shit with their money to earn that kind of return, and they couldn’t be happier.

Now go grab one of those pamphlets from the front of the bank that talks about exciting ways to make 1.75% return on your dough.

Bernie, Get some rest you crazy bastard, you’ve earned it.

Updated Addendum 7-2-09:
Furthermore most of the people who were ripped off by Bernie Madoff were “Wall Street Fatcats” who nobody was feeling sorry for, yet Bernie is seen as the cause of the economic crisis for ordinary people. No he was ripping off the people who were greedy, bad investors, investing in not only his bullshit fund but also the subprime loan market. Screw them.

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Reader's Comments

1. 

   Everything about this Bernie Madoff swindle is extremely poetic to me since I am technically ‘bourgeois’ but really just a proletariat since everyone in America is essentially ‘bourgeois’ as a matter of citizenship. All the snobbish sneers I ever received, the smug environmentalist toyota prius drivers, etc… Now they’re working in delis, starbucks, 7-11, gas stations. How does it feel to be nothing since your money defined you and now you have none? You were so smart with your investments but then again I guess you weren’t. Just a smoe, a mark, a sucker. To this I give Bernie three cheers. I feel more sorry for Bernie so I sent him some money via money order to the following address:

   Federal Bureau of Prisons
   Bernard Lawrence Madoff
   61727-054
   Post Office Box 474701
   Des Moines, Iowa 50947-0001

   Have a drink of kool-aide on me Mr. Madoff.

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2. Franklin17 on 08 Jul 2009 5:28 pm
3. 

   I like this comment a lot Franklin. I’ve been thinking a lot lately how westerners idolize the elite (making us elitists, vis a vis) yet have this guilty, knee-jerk populist streak.. it’s so incongruent and ultimately cannot allow us to have a coherent culture or message.

   Reply to this comment
4. andyfox1979 on 09 Jul 2009 5:33 am