I Hate Brad Pitt’s Mustache

Brad Pitt’s mustache and goatee suck and make me really pissed.

I really hate to look at it this smug little brit mustache. I was watching the 2009 golden globe awards tonight and I see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and then I see that stupid mustache.

Who do these celebrities think they are? You can’t just wear some nazi commander-jesse james-1900’s sundry shopkeeper stache and not explain why you have a ridiculous hair formation in the middle of your face and why you’re making that little smirk.

I’m sure every hipster in town has started working on this mustache and because of this I’d love to beat the shit out of Brad Pitt.

Because AJ is such a freak I bet in order to support her man shes rocking like some dense 80’s Playboy bush so that their body hair is consistent.

It was  sorta cool how in the past god made people’s bodies lighter in the areas where they needed to put underwear over.

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Reader's Comments

1. 

   With temperatures like these, I don’t mind resting the eggs in a bush.

   Reply to this comment
2. Reinhold Fassbinder on 12 Jan 2009 4:07 pm
3. 

   I hate Brad Pitt’s Wife!

   Seriously!

   Anyway,
   I love your blog and I think you would appreciate my sense of humor. If I link to your blog on my blog is there any way you could return the favor? I think we could both get more exposure!

   Check it out: Http://scottstipoftheday.blogspot.com

   Thanks so much
   -S

   Reply to this comment
4. scott on 13 Jan 2009 6:17 pm
5. 

   It’s for a movie role. He and Johnny Knoxville are doing a comedy where they are twins separated at birth and Brad goes on to be rich and married to an insanely hot chick and Johnny goes on to lose his testicles in a stunt involving a shopping cart, a cattle prod, a plate glass window, and 18,000 bottle rockets.

   Unfortunately, Johnny’s character is a very normal one at home and he and his wife were planning to start a family, but his sudden loss of testes forces him on a search to find a sperm donor who most closely resembles him. In his search, he has a friend who takes a DNA sample and processes it and matches it (within 2 hours, because this is movie DNA) to a sample that was logged into evidence from Brad Pitt’s character (After some emperor penguins were sexually assaulted at the zoo, Brad volunteered a sample to clear himself.)

   At first, they think it’s a mistake, and then he realizes, even more conclusive than DNA, they have the exact same faux goatee. This leads Johnny into a crusade to get some of Brad’s little swimmers to impregnate his wife with (after being cut off from making any contact by Brad’s crazy sexy wife, who thinks that that Johnny Knoxville is a scammer) so that he can have an “actual” biological child. There’s supposedly a scene where Knoxville dressed up as penguin and tries to nail Brad that’s supposed to be hilarious.

   Reply to this comment
6. Roclawzi on 19 Jan 2009 10:03 am
7. 

   Hmmm, now that I look back at it, I seriously expect someone to try to steal that premise, but to save money they use Chris O’Donnell and Josh Duhamel.

   Reply to this comment
8. Roclawzi on 19 Jan 2009 3:11 pm
9. 

   “I’d love to beat the shit out of Brad Pitt.”

   I assume, you’ve watched “Fight Club”, maybe even “Snatch”. Now, take a minute to recall the fights he had in those movies… OK, just don’t say later that I didn’t try to stop you!

   I’ve never liked him, but after watching some movies I understood how good he is, and eventually started to respect him. Recently I’ve seen “Body of Lies”, and it totally proves that he’s cool, so fuck the sinister moustache he has, and let’s focus on the movies.

   Edit:
   You’ve got some really awesome edit method here!

   Edit#2
   MOAR!

   Edit#3
   Really addicting…

   Reply to this comment
10. Spinett on 21 Mar 2009 4:31 pm
11. 

    Brad is a friggin A-hole and everyone in Hollywood knows it!Nobody likes him anymore! He is a friggin joke! Also Angelina is a stretched mark whore! I hate them! On a more positive note your web site is cool!

    Reply to this comment
12. Nicole on 27 Mar 2009 8:49 pm
13. 

    You’ve touched a raw nerve there fella. In Inglorious Basterds Pitt has adopted a toosh but also a weird kind of smirk to go with it. I tested this and attempted to grow a mushy but I looked like Hitlers retarded son. I would like to grow a full beard but it seems to grow on my neck and not on my face which gives me the appearance of a b pic wolfman. Also after awhlie it turns ginger. I’ve let my natural curls grow a little but instead of looking cool like they do in boybands I look like a tramp.

    Reply to this comment
14. billyshootspatrick on 16 Jun 2009 2:04 pm