I Knew I Liked Tori Spelling For A Reason (Huge Aereolas)
I’ve always wanted to sexually humiliate Tori Spelling. There, I finally said in public. It usually doesn’t go over very well when I share that with people in private.
Usually, whenever I tell someone about my secret desire to degrade and demean the heiress of prime time, I get the inevitable look that says “But what about her face?” And I’m going to honest with you folks; more often than not, I have to be reminded that a woman has a head. I probably could marry a woman who was decapitated in 1986 and not notice until after the honeymoon. And when I say “I probably could,” I really mean “I actually did.” More than once. I get distracted easily.
The fact is that I’m not a negative guy. Unlike most folks, I tend to accentuate the positive. All of my long-time readers know that. I’m the very picture of a wide-eyed optimist.
For example, I like the fact that she’s from an incredibly rich family and has few, if any, siblings. I like the fact that she was insecure enough about herself to get ridiculously fake implants when she was still in high school. I like the fact that her body held together pretty nicely after having shit out a litter of screaming fucking kids. I also love the fact that she’s almost certainly completely shaved, as all women should be. I like the fact that she has a demonstrated ability to leave her husband for the first big-cocked Canadian to give her a second look.
The rest is incidental. As you might have noticed, I’m pretty picky when it comes to broads.
But today, thanks to the magic that is The Superficial … Because You’re Ugly I learned of another reason to love Tori. I love the fact that she has grotesquely big nipples and areola on her big fake bouncers. And I love the fact that she’s unashamed to flaunt them in a tastefully see-through bikini top for the sleazy paparazzo even more. Shame is highly overrated as a virtue and usually serves only to take the fun out of a girl just as quickly as I can drill it into her.
So there you have it. I would very much like to sexually humiliate Tori Spelling. How would I do that, you ask? I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves the lower half of my body, a rubber fist and Jenny Garth.
Now you can go about your day secure in the knowledge that you’ve learned something new about me. But if you’re spiritually empty enough to be disgusted by my revelation, you can be thankful that I didn’t share my thoughts on a naked Betty White.
You’re welcome.
(ed note: here’s the link to full size pic of Tori’s “fake bouncers”)
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Tagged with aereolas, humiliate, nipples, rich, sex, tori spelling
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I always liked the slightly chubbier tori. I like her because shes goodlooking and also has sort of a dumb or silly look about her. Great fake tits too. But if you look at that pic closely her crotch area looks all beat up and too skinny.
If we were dating i’d sternly put her on a plan to fix that area and bring it up in front of her friends.