If You Plan On Buying An Apple iPhone, I Do Not Like You
If you’re planning on waiting in line to be the gush, FIRST to get one, I like you even less.
“Lets Get Stupid”
If you bring up iPhones whenever you talk about technology I like you less still, there are much more interesting things to talk about and having an iPhone is not going to make you seem technologically advanced or “with it”.
A few things:
The iPhone does look pretty cool, sure. It looks easy to use. It looks like it works well, assuming you have a strong connection, which who ever really does?
But really my argument against the iPhone has very little to do with the iPhone itself as its about just general consumerism and companies’ growing ability to market their products as a lifestyle or a personality trait.
Consider this:
Say you have a friend named Dave. Say Dave drives a new Volkswagen Eos or Rabbit. Dave Sidekicks like a pro, whipping that thing open like a cowboy lassoing a baby cow. Maybe he drives a Toyota Prius. Say Dave has a Macbook. Say Dave’s apartment is decorated mostly from DWR (and maybe some kitschy shit thrown in to look more authentic). He always has the newest iPod or gadget. Add a few Wilco and Belle And Sebastian records on loop. Say Dave dresses in a mix of Urban Outfitters and Fred Segal leftover stuff he landed at Loehmans. Say Dave walks into work/school/bar/etc with an iPhone. Somehow, you have an idea of what kind of guy Dave is right? Pretty cool right? Kind of hip?
All i’ve mentioned here is brands, companies and their products. This is not a personality. This does say that Dave has a disposable income, of which Madison Avenue has done a great job in relieving him of. This is not admirable.
It’s further not admirable that Dave is so easily marketed to, and self-herded into whatever he thinks he should be buying and this dubious sense of identity. There are probably a lot of Daves out there who don’t want to miss the boat and be without an iPhone while they’re “out of stock”, which is known to most as “creating an artificial demand”. An iPhone is a conversation piece for someone like Dave.
He will either:
- Gush girlishly (sorry for the alliteration with that one) about how great it is
- Pretend to be dissatisfied with it to bolster more conversation and show what a discriminating buyer he is in the same way the rich kids of our youth decried whatever schmancy thing they had and you didn’t.
- Act as if “its just a phone” although you know Dave waited in line with a boner for 2 hours to get it.
Let’s not be Daves. Lets show Apple, society– crap , ourselves, that hey you know what, that looks pretty cool but $600 is a lot of money and I don’t need to have the latest piece of soon to be passe gadget trash.
You gotta love the Irony of Apple’s Ad Campaigns too:
Think. Different.
(insert picture of counterculture icon, most of which do not use computers and probably dislike corporate idolatry and conspicuous consumption)
UPDATE:
A blogger who calls himself Chuch (ok he’s sort of a friend of mine) has challenged me about my position on the iPhone. He promised his readers that he would have a vicious rebuttal that very evening. It’s been 4 days now. I will post his response here. I may or may not write a rebuttal. Feel free to visit his blog and call him names.
Random Posts
Loading…
Check out my friends @ CraigsLOL
Loading ...
Anti-consumerism? Really?
Pretty bold statement for a guy that just spent a weekend at the latest Ian Shraeger incarnation in Scottsdale. Ian Schraeger is to hotels as apple is to tech products. Dave sounds like he has tremendous tastes although he is a probably a little down on Wilco’s “Sky Blue Sky” but has been fortified by the new National’s “The Boxer”. If you are looking for great kistch nothing beats Matthew Courntey’s works on in Soho. It screams, yeah I get the west elm catlogue but I also use to “tag” and do pieces back in the day.
[...] 21st, 2007 · No Comments Andy from Misanthropy Today has a hilarious post about what a bitter man he is and how much he hates the iPhone and it’s [...]
Seriously, get over yourself.
The guy above is going to steal your girlfriend and text her with his iPhone.
I’ll get right on it, Dave.
delightful… everytime i see a tom tom iwant to feed the owner a map.
I’m not trying to be cool by saying this but I think Apple blows.
And? Love the blog, big guy.
well andy, i erroneously deleted your comment…so i’ll answer you here…the problem may well be that people spend more time trying to figure out their ipod or choosing a wine, than they do conversating about things that matter
thanks for stopping by
if you’ve no objection I’d like to add you to my blogroll
[...] Semi funny post at misanthropy today Say you have a friend named Dave. Say Dave drives a new Volkswagen Eos or Rabbit. Dave Sidekicks like a pro, whipping that thing open like a cowboy lassoing a baby cow. Maybe he drives a Toyota Prius. Say Dave has a Macbook. Say Dave’s apartment is decorated mostly from DWR (and maybe some kitschy shit thrown in to look more authentic). He always has the newest iPod or gadget. Add a few Wilco and Belle And Sebastian records on loop. Say Dave dresses in a mix of Urban Outfitters and Fred Segal leftover stuff he landed at Loehmans. Say Dave walks into work/school/bar/etc with an iPhone. Somehow, you have an idea of what kind of guy Dave is right? Pretty cool right? Kind of hip? [...]
Is Dave’s last name Strawman? Because you have created him as a total strawman. You describe him using only the brands he buys, and then say he he uses brands in place of having a personality. I’m sure if you hang out with Dave for a bit, maybe go for a spin in his Eos, you’ll see that there is more to him than the things he owns. Hey, maybe you could have an engaging discussion about the Sopranos! But I guess that wouldn’t be misanthropic enough, which I understand is your whole deal. Oh well.
Hey Eric, I just wrote this post because I get a little tired of like the next “it” gadget suddenly becoming the topic of all conversations (previously: blu-ray, PS2, wii, sidekick, blackberry, etc etc). The amount of time spent speculating, arguing, etc, etc. just seems odd to me when you consider that this has probably been going on since way before the betamax player. Is it a good way to spend time?
I understand technology is exciting and that it sometimes creates milestones in our personal lives, I just think there are far more important things to talk about. Rather than talking about these devices, I think the dialog should be about how this or any technology will help our lives, if at all. The other part of this was just about the strange probability of certain people consistently buying the same products and how they see these products as a means of personal expression.
Like your tangerine colored iMac, for instance, Eric.
I have not seen sexual tension like the above (see Eric and Andy) since Angela and Tony in Who’s the boss…
http://chuchscoop.wordpress.com/2007/06/25/bloggers-who-live-in-glass-houses-should-not-throw-stones-or-iphones-for-that-matter/
[...] author of Misanthropy Today has developed a severe distaste for all things Apple. Most of his venom has been saved for the [...]
Here’s some more ammunition for you – I’ve started to compile a list of drawbacks for the Apple iPhone. I’m up to 22 reasons NOT to buy the iPhone so far:
http://www.essistme.com/2007/06/27/20-real-downsides-of-apple-iphone/
In your “consider this” paragraph, I don’t know what most of those things are. Does that mean I’m better than everyone else? Of course it does, but I’m not going to get a big head about it. I mean, being better than everyone else really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It can be a headache sometimes.
That’s when I reach for the big white bottle labeled, simply, Asprin.
haha
smartest take on the iphone ive ever read. thanks. very good blog overall.. i’m really enjoying reading it for the last week or two.