Instructions For A Fender Bender On The Freeway Or Busy Street

Monday, 20 Jul 2009

3 Comments

1. Get in minor accident
2. Move the fuck over to the side of the road

That’s it. Two simple steps. No CSI isn’t going to come chalk the scene and look for trace evidence to find out who is to blame for the destruction of your 93 Hyundai Sonata bumper, so don’t worry about disturbing evidence or leaving the scene of the accident.

Notice how you can easily and safely do the following tasks from the side of the road:

• Exchange insurance information
• Call your husband, crying
• Blame the other driver. (Be sure to tell him “this isn’t going to be cheap to fix!”)
• Survey damage with a confused look on your face that says “hey, this wasn’t like this before!”
• Notice the thousands of cars passing by not being stuck in traffic because of your car accident, not wishing that you were more injured or that your car was more damaged for holding up traffic for a goddamned hour

If you live in the Los Angeles Metro area please show this to your friends who are accident prone. Or any women you may know who drive autos. I’m getting really tired of seeing you assholes standing in the middle of the freeway with your hand on your forehead wondering what kind of loaner car the body shop is going to give you.

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Posted in advice, los angeles, misanthropy, women
Tagged with car accident, damage, fender bender, idiots, injury, insurance, misanthropy

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Reader's Comments

1. 

   Alternative Method

   Step 1: Beat the stupid yuppie jerkoff that hit you with his/her phone until he/she is to fucked to even read your license plate, let alone come after you.
   Step 2: Empty his/her wallet.
   Step 3: Drive away
   Step 4: ???
   Step 5: Profit!

   Reply to this comment
2. Stretchnuts on 20 Jul 2009 5:10 pm
3. 

   Stretch- I’m just so fucking sick of seeing some idiots in the middle of the road or freeway exchanging information. Why isn’t it taught to people to move to the side of the road instead of blocking traffic, causing more accidents?

   Reply to this comment
4. andyfox1979 on 23 Jul 2009 10:16 pm
5. 

   “Or any women you may know who drive autos.”

   fuuuuuuck you.

   Reply to this comment
6. Lisa on 07 Sep 2009 9:25 am