Man Made Climate Change Is Such Bullshit

So if you’ve been a reader for awhile you know that I thought Global Warming was bullshit before. Well they pulled a fast one on me awhile ago and they changed it to “Climate Change”.

Let me show you what an interesting scientific theory this is, and what an even greater political idea this is:

Gets Warmer = Climate Change!

Gets Colder= Climate Change!

Stays About The Same= Climate Change Is Coming!

Changes Wildly (every four months or so, we used to call these Seasons) = Climate Change!

As you can see from the above, there’s pretty much no way to lose for these guys, and this is why I hate them. As a political idea, climate change is beyond genius.

Watch this video series:

Let me remind you that believing in Climate Change is also a rather interesting belief to have since it will allow you to look down on a lot of people also. For instance, if someone doesn’t believe that man is causing climate change you can call them some really funny names that relate to things that people didn’t believe in the past that turned out to be true, here’s a few to get you going:

  • Round Earth
  • Evolution
  • Gravity

However you can’t bring up the ones that people did believe (en masse) that turned out to be quite wrong:

  • An impending ice age (this was 40 years ago, Newsweek and Time cover stories)
  • Phrenology
  • Human Sacrifices
  • Blood letting to cure illnesses
  • Belief in witchcraft and witches
  • Cats stealing children’s breath
  • Moon being made of Swiss Cheese

Also, you should know to be a little afraid when one side of the debate claims that there is no debate and that anyone who is still debating is a moron, idiot, fucktard, hillbilly, neocon, religious fanatic, etc— yet they show up to the debate to let everyone else know that the debate has been cancelled, in case they didn’t get the memo.

Speaking of memos, the Climate Changers really hate those leaked emails and computer code and will tell you how useless that was— nothing to see there, move along. But I wonder if similar emails were discovered by BP’s hired scientists in regards to the recent oil spill– you know, anything relating to hiding something, dissuading peer-review, trying to get journalists fired— well those emails might look a little different to them.

I think at the lowest level what we have in these two groups are people who are intellectually honest and people who are intellectually dishonest. I don’t need to explain how everyone believing in man made climate change (hereafter, MMCC) benefits people like Al Gore, George Soros, Goldman Sachs, etc.. but how does it benefit some coffee house worker in Iowa who has 1,000 fans on Huffington Post? Well, that will take some explaining:

How Man Made Climate Change (MMCC) Is Good For All Kinds Of  Idiots

Let’s say that you’re :

A Climate Scientist Suddenly you’re fun to have at cocktail parties. I’m studying climate change is almost as unthinkingly respectable to others as I’m curing kids with leukemia. I mean, who’s gonna be the drunk asshole to corner you at a party and grill you about either of those? Furthermore, you might be able to underwrite your job for the next 10 years if you can land a grant or come up with some model that begins to suggest that climate change is man made and can be reversed. Remember the key here is CAN BE REVERSED. This is where the scientists will be patted on the backs and the politicians and investors take over.  But like the old saying goes, you don’t ask a Tire Salesman if you need new tires, asking these sudden Science Celebrities to be completely objective with their “models” is a little difficult, and that should be well understood by all and scrutinized like a drunk guy at a party.

Socialist/Marxist, you can connect Climate Change to rail against capitalism, development, consumption or whatever agrees with that fucking communist book you read when  you were 15 and no contrary books since.

Environmentalist,  meaning someone who thinks the earth is our mother and we are bad children, and want to force people to adopt measures that you have decided upon to salvage our relationship with Mother Earth then you can use MMCC to your advantage. Note: an environmentalist is not someone who enjoys the outdoors although they are sometimes lumped together by Political Environmentalists but rarely in real life practice as most outdoorsy people are rather libertarian and concerned with their own impact, and less with others’ impact. If you are an environmentalist in the political sense you’ve probably chosen the environment as an inarguable vehicle for some other nutty ideas you have.

Clueless and Smug Prius Driving Suburbanite Democrats will of course benefit from the multitude of websites, magazines, accessories and conspicuous consumption that all of this will bring. In fact, there’s several websites and catalogs now that will sell you all kinds of really nicely designed, expensive Chinese-made “Green” products that will also save the environment. You know those great re-usable bags that you get at your favorite health food store? Yeah, we make them here in China, and they’re made from the same stuff (but concentrated) that other plastic bags are made from. The idea is that if you re-use them for a few years you’ll be saving bags, get it?

Angry Liberal not much different from the angry conservative, they’ve just found a slightly different outlet for their anger. Do they have any overarching goal? Not really, just to be consistently angry and hate whomever may have slighted them early on in their valuable lives. Maybe for them it was the stuck up kids, or their religious parents, or the rich kids with nice cars while they had to ride the bus. You’ve probably noticed a really wild, inscrutable anger from some of the “Fuck Bush” crowd, where you are thinking to yourself “Is something wrong at home?”. There is, there is. Whomever it was, and probably still is, they see their life’s troubles on a macro-scale, and have found a political party  that assures them that they will see to it that those people are taken down a peg or two… and if not, you still have license and  forums to call people names and spout bullshit that educated bullshitters have taught you with your bad grammar and spelling. One thing i’ve learned in the years of having this blog, the Angry liberal has the worst spelling and grammar.

The Cause People People who need a cause generally drift towards liberal/Democrat politics because I think while conservatives do have their nutty causes, Democrats are far better Cause Manufacturers. Cause People like these kind of turnkey missions where they can join and within weeks be the most radical and engaged in the cause out of anyone they know— with no setup fees or boring coursework! For these people it’s not about logic or anger, it’s about emotions. They need something to be emotional about, something to make their life meaningful, and for these people saving the goddamn earth and all who dwell inside it is like hitting the cause jackpot.

So what about everyone else?

Well, if i’m right (I am) and climate change is bullshit then its actually much worse than we think.

We just basically have to keep doing what we’re doing. Living with all this shiny and then almost instantly boring technology and the realization that we will probably live for our own personal cause and plight and die because of our own mistakes and behaviors and not the mistakes and behaviors of others.

Now that I put it that way, this Climate Change stuff actually sounds pretty interesting.

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32 Comments

on “Man Made Climate Change Is Such Bullshit
32 Comments on “Man Made Climate Change Is Such Bullshit
  1. Here Here.

    This is some funny shit, but sadly, it’s not that funny when you get down to the testicles of this thing.

    Climate change is the biggest Marxist hoax ever perpetrated on the modern world. The end goal is a complete shift of global economic power from large, stable, rich countries like America to smaller, less stable countries where the Marxists can take advantage of a lack of law, a lack of order and a susceptibility to totalitarian communist rule. It’s perverse and sickening. But you are right… they do it from a place of vengefulness. They wish to inflict suffering on those that they believe have not endured the perceived suffering that they have.

    Again: here here. I might be linking to this from my blog. Thanks man.

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  2. Thanks Charles.. I think it’s rather clear that at the end of their fake compassion and good intentions is a voracious hunger for power, and who can argue with saving the earth? Well luckily there are people who can and do and I think as time goes on and as real problems continue to walk out on stage front and center we’ll see this kind of thing recede to the annals of liberal science… remember when the Ozone Layer was on the brink of disappearing? Man that was scary.

  3. I do believe that the climate is changing, but I do not believe that it is as big a thing as some say.

    HOWEVER:

    Even if global warming is a hoax, we should still do something about the environment. I’m sure most people can agree that the environment is in danger [mostly] because of people: degradation of the rainforests, various endangered species losing their habitats, the very disgusting Great Pacific Garbage Patch, etcetera.

    We may or may not be contributing to climate change/global warming, but we are changing our environment in negative ways regardless.

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  4. Idunno man, USA just tied England again, and if trends continue, the world cup will end in a draw.

    Also, I’ve been analyzing the data I’ve been collecting since December 26, and if trends continue, we’ll probably be in complete daylight in a few years. No more night.

    The only way to save us is to give Al Gore our money so he can buy us all carbon credits.

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  5. Andy: as usual, penetrating, legitimate criticism, but so what? We have fallen from the cliff and yet contend that it is not ‘right’. Correction: we never fell–falling is our reality. Ever think that such criticism itself is just part of the cosmic puppet dance?

    ‘Enemy’, ‘moron’, ‘hypocrite’, ‘liar’: Obama, Soetoro, Kennedy, Reagan, senator, judge, doctor, priest: none of them merit the titles, nor do the titles merit them. Our real problem is gravity.

    Fuck the environment, whether healthy or sick: who gives a shit about the air quality on the way down a cliff?

    “Within emptiness unobstructed, some things just can’t be explained…. Within the cold absolute: the cold brutal truth…”–Warrel Dane.

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  6. omg i don’t know how i found this blog – i was searching for fingernails and protein diets i think – no wait – it was because firefox crashed yet AGAIN and i typed in firefox sucks in chrome just for fun and i found your liberals tag. LOL LOL

    global warming is a marxist hoax that the left loves to hug and let their little trolls believe. the easiest way to control people is to scare the hell out of them and that is exactly what liberals try to do.

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  7. I remember when I was at school being told about the hole in the ozone layer and that we would all die soon if it’s not fixed . I was frightened and couldn’t understand why no one was doing anything to fix the problem . Now I realise that no one fixed the problem because they already knew it was bullshit . There’s a conspiracy to get everyone to be scared into using less energy , I don’t know the reason why but I can guess lots of theories .

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    • Um, someone DID do something to fix the problem: industrialized countries banned the use of CFCs and other aerosol propellants that were thought to be causing the ozone hole. Twenty years later, no more hole. Why is it that everyone who thinks that global warming/climate change is bullshit keeps throwing out this dark, paranoid crap about how “they” (Marxists, liberals, scientists, whoever you care to name) just one day got together and decided to cook up some sky-is-falling plot to CONTROL everything? You guys never dispute the science head-on, but instead choose to attack the motives of the ones generating and interpreting said science. Get out of the 3rd grade, stop calling people you disagree with names, and offer a reasoned, adult counter-argument. Until then, I’m done listening to people like you because you have nothing constructive to say.

      Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 4 Thumb down 4

  8. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_age

    If you read about it instead of just writing slightly humorous shit all day and masturbating to it, you’ll see its a naturally occurring process on this planet. By ranting about it your just as much of a moron as the people your talking about, so put on a fucking sweater and shut the fuck up. We’ll all probably be dead by then anyways, so it doesn’t matter.

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    • Thanks for pointing me to this information page on this Wikipedia site. I will be sure to reference this website in the future and urge all my readers to check out this Wikipedia site that Robert The Red has brought forth to share with us. Robert, if you could find me a site to search for things on the web and report back here by EOTD i’d appreciate it.

  9. Sally I think we all know what an Ice age is, we’re able to use a search engine if we do not. Yes we will be dead by then however for individuals such as yourself death just couldn’t come soon enough.
    You’re a douche congrats…
    Now go to bed sally anne.

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  10. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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    • I don’t watch conservative shows.

      I agree with you that we should, or rather should be able to believe the credibility of climate scientists, but I don’t think that we can given their behavior and moreover– their lack of a cohesive scientific theory.

      Is it warming? Is it cooling? Which is it and what can we expect when? The kind of vagueness they prescribe that we should take as science is not science and I will not accept it as such.

      I think the investigation by the IPCC gets too much credit when they themselves are a biased organization. No Climate Change= No Funding for IPCC.

      Daniel, what I love about people of certain ideas is how they don’t believe anything the government says and think everything is biased and conspiracies abound, unless it’s something they happen to agree with.

    • There is never absolute certainty in any science.There is enough certainty to make it reasonable to believe in it.Furthermore basically all climate scientists agree that the Earth is fact warming not even Richard Lindzen and co deny this.The global cooling theory in the 70′s was not established science, it was media sensationalism.There is alot of stupid environmentalist beliefs, e.g earth is our mother,organic food is better etc.I don’t see how it follows tho that because some environmental issues are over-exaggerated therefore we should ignore the science and use refuted arguments.There is also a difference between a conspiracy and a conspiracy theory, conspiracies happen everyday and are often exposed or transparent, conspiracy theories involve large groups unrealistically conspiring with very little exposure.

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  11. I find it funny every time a weather event is connected to climate change in the news… “Biggest storm in 50 years”, or “coldest january on record since 1960″ and that’s supposed to scare us into thinking it’s because we don’t recycle properly, when to me it screams “50 years ago the weather was even worse”

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  12. Whether we have climate change or not we need to find a way to use less oil. China has a lot of people and they keep using more and more oil. The only reason our oil is as cheap as it is is because we get it from countries that basically have slave labor. The oil companies in the u.s don’t even sell their oil here. Our labor cost are too high, we sell it to japan where we can get more for it. You may be right in saying that climate change is just a way of getting people to use less energy, but the truth is we need to use less regardless. Sure we have plenty of oil left on earth, but we don’t have an unlimited amount of slave labor to get us oil for cheap. As more countries use more oil demand will go up and price will go up and we’ll have to adjust whether you like it or not. Whether climate change is real or not it doesn’t matter.

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  13. Those hippies fail to realize that “Mother Earth” is just a metaphor, not an identity. Sure, we are born from earth, seek and obtain our nourishment, pleasures and comforts from earth–Wow! just like from our mommies!–but we also experience countless forms of suffering, pain, death, disease at her hands (Tsunami, anyone?)–hmm, not so much the Mommy I knew.

    The proclivity for metaphor is a key human weakness.

    Fuck the Earth (not literally, of course).

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  14. All denials by oil-paid scientists and ravings of lunatics will not make for comfortable sustainability. I spent decades watching environmental decline… it’s real: dead ponds, fished out seas, huge columns of fumes, toxic soil. EPA fines many states for low air quality, but taxpayers don’t even realize they have to pay for it. The curious part to climate change is not warming in weird places (like permafrost melt) but severity of weather… more rainy day which are actually cooler as if some defense mechanism.

    The change is caused by the slightest imbalance in CO2. Ten times worse is methane expelled in huge volumes by cattle and pipelines.

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  15. One thing people forget, the population is increasing. Soon oil won’t be a problem, food will.
    Sustainability is only way to survive, we have finite resources.

    The best analogy is the human race is is an infection to the earth

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  16. Pingback: Climate Change: Mass Killing – Simple And With Impunity « Mithantrope's Thoughts

  17. For the ^conspiracy theorists^ who believe the credible majority of world’s scientists are lying as a power play, ^polyannas^ denying despoilment I’ve personally witnessed since the 1960′s, and ^stooges^ who think careful observation and statistical analysis are worthless as tools:
    a) Your quality of living directly depends on documented, reproducible science.
    b) Environmentalism had to be invented to address indisputable issues.
    c) Scientists, like you, survive through funding; reaction is usually slow, because any facts that might upset business are squashed and whistle blowers persecuted.
    d) Junk science is backed by vested interests, particularly Big Oil, who are also behind Republican neocons on fact-less opinion shows posing as news.
    e) Oil is the most profitable business on Earth, so can best spin blame for its car-nage of 1.3 million traffic fatalities each year (globally), cardiovascular disease from automotive convenience, cancer from 3/4 of all know carcinogens found in oil products, poisons, pulmonary disease from pollution, wars over oil, etc.
    f) In the last 100 years, considered the bloodiest in history, more people were killed or maimed in motor vehicle crashes than warfare.
    g) Because of educational cuts, persistent lies, and political manipulation, the pace of improvement will be delayed long enough so public suffers and uber-rich escape. Every fair and sensible suggestion, socialites scream socialism.
    h) Being an independent, uncompensated message, most opinions you read are paid for by those who want to maintain domination in this on-going class struggle; the truth can balance of cash flow given people smart enough to listen and understand.

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    • Wow. Just wow. You can’t be for real. You simply can’t. But keep fighting the good fight against global warming! You’re almost there.

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  18. It’s nearly impossible to tell what’s exactly going to happen. Sure, the world will go into an ice age, that’s expected. The sun is a star that will die out at some point, over billions of more year I believe. The advancements we have made in our measly few thousand years are, pretty good. I think by the time the sun does die out and we fall into an ice age, we’ll have found a new star that will shine for a longer amount of time. Our ancestors will be sitting on their front porch with a telescope drinking and watching the sun die out, laughing their asses off.
    It’s like you just got a raise and bonus, and your looking for a new apartment. A stronger, better one.

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  19. Pingback: All it takes is one bad apple, and even though that’s a cliche, I can’t think of a better metaphor or aphorism… look, some people are jerks

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