More Sopranos Thoughts: Deus Ex Machina
I’ve been thinking a lot about the Sopranos since it has sent over 1,000 people to this week old blog in just a day or two.
I think a huge reason why people like the Sopranos so much is because the dialogue —–Wait a second here, is it dialog or dialogue? I spell it dialogue but Firefox has it underlined as misspelled. Firefox also puts the red line if you don’t capitalize their name, self important bastards.. Ok so the dialogue and acting is very strong (both these points are arguable) but the plot lines are ridiculous and the premise itself is even a pretty huge suspension of disbelief.
I wont even get into the terrible amounts of product placement, but this again could be a positive for people since many people think of products they like as extensions of their personality somehow. This is to say, if people see a product they also like on TV being used by a character they like it makes them feel horny.
Let me give some examples:
Ok so in the episodes “Live Free or Die” through “Johnny Cakes” (71-73) Vito, a closeted gay mafioso skips town after some lackey sees him at a leather daddy bar in NYC holding hands with another guy.
So Vito is driving through New Hampshire and out jumps a giant tree branch in the middle of the road and it completely mangles his Cadillac. So he walks up the road to this small town in the rain. Vito checks into a Bed and Breakfast like the one Bill Murray stayed at in Groundhog Day .
So Vito wakes up the next day and takes a stroll around; its a pretty nice town. Then he notices something alarming, the town is crawling with gays! Now he sees all these gays in sort of a light montage that if you replaced it with geriatric people it would look like a commercial for a retirement community. You know, picnicking, riding tandem bikes, shopping with big square bags, etc.
If you’re thinking God In The Machine now, just wait.
Alright, so Vito gets hungry and goes into the local diner, you guessed it, beefcake gay cook flipping flapjacks that they call “Johnny Cakes” in New Hampshire supposedly. But that’s not all: he flirts with 300+lb Vito. We’re not even done yet. He has a motorcycle. He has a sweet ass. He wears plaid lumberjacks. He’s a volunteer fireman.
So Vito and this guy start hanging out and then the guy tries to kiss Vito and the same Vito who was wearing leather chaps and vest in NYC with some twerpy looking gay guy, gets mad because he’s suddenly conflicted about being gay. So they get into a fistfight. Flapjack guy beats the college out of Vito. Then, the following day Vito goes into his restaurant and they make up. This plot was clearly taken out of the gay equivalent of Penthouse Forum. The writers of the Sopranos had gay men popping boners all around the world.
I sort of took a lot of space with that example so i’ll fire the rest off quickly:
- Adriana is getting leaned on by the FBI. She calls Chris and tells him about it. He calls Tony. Sil goes and kills her. The FBI asks a few questions then gives up. In later episodes, Tony and Sil are buddy-buddy with FBI agents who work on the terrorism unit.
- Anytime Tony deals with a person in any sales position, its always a hot POA. Without fail. He usually sleeps with her or has the chance to.
- Carmela has a crush on this zip with a ponytail. He’s a goodlooking guy. He has an accent. She falls in love with him. He has sex with her. Carmela now is not very attractive and the wife of his boss who happens to be a mafia boss. Well he probably regrets it after and dodges her calls and tells his buddies it was because he was drunk right? Nope. He falls in love with her too.
- Later, Carmela has sex with a caddish dean who isn’t scared of Tony and then hits and quits it. He survives somehow.
- Generally, all bit characters (and some primary characters) are woefully negligent to the fact that they are in the mafia and should behave themselves or they will get killed. Bit characters moreso.
- Tony gets AJ an Xterra. This is just inconsistent and screams product placement.
- More Product Placement Blunders: Jamba Juice wants to buy a warehouse that Tony owns in the newly gentrified meat packing district, yet i’ve never been to a Jamba Juice in my life that was bigger than 1,000 square feet. (note: the real estate agent is a minx)
I could go on all day. Basically, the Sopranos is a great show but I sort of cringe when I think of the writers of the show thinking they’re like geniuses or something. Also, most of this season has been terrible. And whats with all the Dr Melfi plots, does anyone really care about her? I hope Tony has her killed for cutting him off as a client.
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