My Theory As To Why The Carlos Mencia Show Sucks So Bad.
From CraveOnline.com
I‘ve seen Carlos Mencia’s stand-up special. He isn’t bad. He’s no Eddie Izzard or Emo Philips, but he doesn’t stink. It was similar to his show, but he would occasionally establish a premise or argue a point well. So why is his show so grossly unwatchable? Here is my theory, for your Nobel consideration.Do you remember the Dave Chappelle show? Oh, well it was this show where a black dude did comedy skits. It was very successful, for cable. The odd thing was that Dave Chappelle never did promos for his own show. I surmise (and this is the first of many surmissions) that he refused on the grounds that it was gay. However, the promotion must go on, so jump cut to me two or three years ago, sitting on a couch, with a very queer look on my face having just heard the phrase “Stay tuned to see who Dave busts on,” after a forgettable episode of South Park.
“Busts on?” Mary full of Joseph, that’s a stupid thing! It wasn’t even a celebrity-insult based show. Did they think it sounded hip and urban? Obviously, the price for Mr. Chappelle’s never having to do any advertising was for him to have no say in the advertising that resulted. Case in point. No way anybody with an ounce of coolness came up with that crap.
So who did come up with it? I don’t know, but for the purposes of this essay I’m going to call him Greg Mitchels. Greg Mitchels was probably some guy new to the promotions department trying to make a name for himself when a juicy opportunity landed on his desk. He thought “Hey! Black! I know: ‘busts on.’ That was on one of our demographic lists of popular things black people say. Itll go great with our new ‘in your face’ type font and ‘in your face’ deep-voiced announcer.” It probably was on a list, too. I mean, the last time I remember hearing it was back in ‘93, and even then it wasn’t that cool, but it has likely survived among black posers who overcompensate for their own nerdiness by excessive use of slang or among people who get their slang from MTV, i.e. “Crunk*” Dumb.
But, Chappelle’s Show was hit. Post hoc ergo prompter hoc, Greg Mitchels was a genius. They heaped on the accolades and promotions. He got a raise and a company car. He’d go down to the cafeteria and say “Hello, table full of secretaries. I came up with ‘busts on.’ Want to give me a BJ, or series of BJs since there are so many of you?” and they’d be all “Do we ever! (BJ noises)” He’d strut down the hallways of Comedy Central and hear the fervent whispers of young interns saying “OMG! That’s Greg ‘Busts On’ Mitchels, the legend himself!”
Then the big bosses came to Greg and said, “We’ve got a new, fresh-faced 40-year-old man we’ve just signed. He’s going to be the next Dave Chappelle, but Hispanic and more accessible to white people. We need you to make him a star. Can you do it? Can you repeat a miracle?” and Greg said “Relax. Who do you think you’re talking to? It’s ‘Busts On’ here. I got it in the bank.”
So Greg went to Carlos and said, “Hey, I have some notes for you.” To which Carlos replied “F*** off, whitey.” and Greg f****d off because his feelings were very hurt. But then one of Carlos’ friends said “Do you know who you just insulted? That was Greg ‘Busts On’ Mitchels. He’s the guy who made Dave Chappelle into what he is today!”
Carlos immediately apologized and welcomed Greg’s suggestions, like:
“You know what you should do? You should take that racially charged humor of yours and do it on the show, except take out any the insight and edge you might have. Then, if people criticize you for it, you can just call them craven PC pussies, and you’ll look hardcore and rebellious. And since you’re making fun of all races and sexualities, you’re an ‘equal opportunity offender!’ Chortle! You can use that if you want.”
“Be sure to put in jokes about the Founding Fathers that everybody else was doing in 1995. Political humor is very big right now.”
“Make fun of rappers like Dave did. You want people to think you’re like Dave, don’t you?”
“Sure! The retard noise you do is definitely a catchphrase. ‘Dee dee deeee.’ That’s gonna catch on like briskets. Use it and use it often.”
“Spic it up. That way everybody will know that you embrace your own culture.”
“Clever? Why would you want to be that?”
“Do a lot of commercials where you look angry at minorities and like you’re going to swear at them. The common man!”
“Shout more.”
Carlos listened, and so the Carlos Mencia show sucks. Balls. Hard. And with gusto.
* Which they totally stole from Conan O’Brien! O’Brien is a true innovator in hip hop culture.
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I can hardly stand this. It’s so wonderful. You may have also mentioned that Carlos Mencia has stolen each and every “joke” of his from a fellow comedian… though it’s hardly necessary. I’m gonna spare the attempted witticism and just say… you are brilliant, sir.
despite the fact that i can’t stand you.
Spoken like a true misanthrope
I’m not a fan of his at all. That picture of the cock/rooster is simply amazing.
WELL TO THE PEOPLE THAT THINK THAT HIS SHOW AINT FUNNY WHO ASKED YOU SERIOUSLY NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK YEAH AND THE REASON WHY IM WRITING THIS IS BECAUSE IM TIERD OF PEOPLE SAYING MY UNCLE’S SHOW IS FAKE AND THAT HE IS STEELING JOKES FROM OTHER COMEDIANS HE HAS HIS OWN MATERIAL HE DONT NEED TO BE LOOKING AT OTHERS TO MAKE HIS SHOW BETTER THERE IS ENOUGH PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ENJOY HIS SHOW SO WE DONT NEED YOU HERE CRITICIZING HIS SHOWAND THE WAY HE WORKS IT OKAY SO WHY DONT YOU ALL JUST SHUT YOUR TRAPS AND STOP TALKING CRAP BECAUSE ALL YOUR DOING IS GETTING ON PEOPLES NERVES OKAY!! SO FUCK OFF!!