Party Quirk Of The Day #36: The Fiance

Tuesday, 06 May 2008

0 Comments

When you and your friends are attending a soiree where you don’t know anyone, sometimes its fun to assign each friend a party quirk to make it more interesting.

Today’s party quirk is called “The Fiance” :

Like those annoying girls who are capable of squeezing “my boyfriend” or “my fiance” into their reply when you ask the time of day, so will you.

At least once per 5 minutes you refer to your fiance, positively or negatively.

Example 1:

Stupid Idiot With A White Pac-10 College Hat Backwards: Yo Shaquille O’neal is the man, 44 points last game.

You: Yeah, marvelous basketball player. My fiance cheated on me with some Shaquille O’neal looking motherfucker once. Made me so pissed.

Example 2:

Compare people, things (even intangible things) unfavorably to your Fiance.

You: My fiance is so much better than Richard’s knowledge of world affairs.

Advanced Only:
Refer to an attractive fellow party goer that you do not know (and appears single) as your Fiance.

Advanced Advanced Only:

Choose an attractive stranger who is of a different race (protip: pick a black person) than you are. While travailing yourself into conversations with various guests, be ham-handedly racially-aware like that chick in your college Sociology class who, because she was dating a black guy, became an priori expert on both black people, race relations and diversity slogans :

You: Yeah me and my fiance know that there’s a lot of racist jerks out there, my fiance calls them “Haters”– she’s so funny—but we don’t care. We know people look at us differently– every person is different. Sometimes we have to wait to be seated at a restaurant for over 45 minutes, who cares; It gives us time to reflect on our unique relationship. Have you heard the new Mos Def or Talib Kweli album?

Semi-Unrelated Sidenote: Btw, why is it that people act like you can’t say anything bad about Mos Def or Talib Kweli because they are like popular-semi-underground-enlightened-brothers ? Well you know what, hey Mos Def and Talib Kweli, you guys are only enlightened sensitive brothas because you’re like 5′-6″ and wear glasses. If you looked like Kimbo i’m sure you wouldn’t be so informed about social issues. No, you’d be beating the crap out of people in backyards for money. Ok, there I said it.

Random _Posts

Posted in humor, misanthropy
Tagged with black people, interracial dating, kimbo, party ideas, party quirks, talib kweli, the fiance

Subscribe Feed | Leave a Comment | Bookmark & Share