Pepsi / Frito Lay Raises Prices; Add Indian CMO
by crackpipe
You may have noticed, if you’re a fellow consumer of fine cuisine, that Pepsi’s Frito-Lay division previously decreased the number of ounces of potato and corn chips in bags of Lays, Tostitos, etc. And that they didn’t lower the price of these bags. This of course raised their profit for each ounce of product. It must have worked well for PepsiCo’s already ridiculous profits, for this is a model they apparently chose to follow again recently for Pepsi soft drinks. Plastic bottle twelve packs previously cost about $3.99. In September, Pepsi removed all the 12 packs from the shelves and permanently replaced them with their new product, the 8 pack, at $3.69 per pack (Target). Previously, I was paying about $0.33 cents per soda, but now must pony-up $0.46 (+ CRV and tax). It sort of got me thinking that my good friends at Pepsi are now only two bottles away from making what formerly was the convenience of half a case into a fucking six pack, and for nearly the same price. I don’t like a 40% overnight price increase.
Plastic screw tops
I like the 12 oz screw-top bottles. These are 150 calorie bottles, whereas the 20 oz are 250 calories, and the 24′s (pictured) are about 300 calories each. If they had the Wild Cherry Pepsi in the 12 oz bottles, that would be perfect.
bottles of gold
With a re-screwable cap, a 12 oz bottle stays fizzy until gone. Unlike the larger bottles, the Pepsi also doesn’t become room temp before it’s gone. Plus, with a cap, my lips don’t contact dried warehouse rat piss or other unknowns which exist on top of 12 oz. cans. When I knock over a bottle, for example in a rage over rising prices, the cap prevents spillage that draws ants. I don’t drink the unleaded (Diet) Pepsi that inherently avoids ants. Anyway, it’s these 12 oz bottles that Pepsi packaged into 12 packs previously, but now have made into 8 packs.
Marketing
Digging around online, I couldn’t find anything explaining Pepsi price increases, not even any propaganda from Pepsi itself. I did happen upon some news about Pepsi subsidiary Frito-Lays’ $150M marketing budget and a replacement of the Chief Marketing Officer within Frito-Lay. While barely relevant to 12 packs of Pepsi, let’s Google Anindita “Ann” Mukherjee, the new CMO of Frito-Lay and see what she looks like. Maybe I can repay PepsiCo by poking fun at one of their own or, if she’s super hot and contacts me, grudgingly accept the price hike while morosely relenting to engage in sulking, resentment-filled sexual intercourse with her. So Googling “anindita mukherjee salary naked frito”… hmm…
Square-faced women
I promise I am not an enemy of square-faced women. Far from it. I often find square-faced women attractive. What follows below about the new CMO isn’t a general complaint about square-faced, or roundishly square-faced, or moonfaced women. Other features, such as being mildly overweight or mildly retarded are also evaluated on a case by case basis, not slammed generally. This isn’t about weight or intelligence. I’m annoyed by the Pepsi price increases. When attempting to determine why Pepsi prices had increased, I found a random news release and Googled the employee hoping I might at least be financing a hot one. NB: heavier square-faced women can play their trump cards of pendulous boobs and sand-dollar sized crowners to hold my attention (see hasty examples).
The Mukherjees
The above disclaimer noted, you go first. Three square-faced Mukherjees (two Ananditas and one Rani) are presented for your evaluation. Which is the new Frito-Lay CMO?
Was it was the pink sweatsuit with embroidered flowers that gave away the one with the $1M+ salary? Was it the thick eyebrows which promise something bushy below? The Mike Tyson nose? The chipmunk cheeks? Well then, how does a woman who makes 7 figures but appears to have stuffed toy animals on her bed at home get such a position? I think you may already have an answer in mind. Does it involve something that looks like bubbly white tapioca? Does it involve such a substance dripping down a chin? Apparently it might. And does it involve subsequent snickering? Perhaps, perhaps. If you haven’t snickered in a few hours, refresh your memory with Muttley.
Whatever the explanation is for Pepsi’s pricing and personnel decisions, fuck them both. I’ll be in Memorial Stadium this weekend watching Cal v. OSU, and it’s time to begin thinking about that. If you are one of the three women in the upper square-faced women collage, thank you for helping me make a point. I’m off work at 4:00.
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crackpipe, this is excellent.
I’ve changed the title to help people find this better.
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You are a pretentious jerk. You just make fun of people for not good reason. Get a life and stop trying to insult or make fun of other people. That’s just inappropriate. Guess What? Mrs. Mukherjee is likely an incredibly smart and qualified individual. So while you are just working your way through life, she is enjoying her success. Focus on yourself instead of ragging on others.
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shouldn’t you also focus on yourself and not rag on crackpipe for writing about how he feels? the problem with arguments like yours is that they can be reapplied for use against you. Try harder “Lindsey Spurlock”
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You’re like Jesus to me now, Lindsey. Is that OK with you?