Quitting Smoking. Zyban. Take Three
Even though I think cigarettes are inherently bad for people– physically, mentally, socially– I don’t think you ever quite lose the taste for pictures of kids smoking cigarettes.
amirite.
This is my third and last time quitting smoking, at least for awhile.
It always goes the same way– I start drinking and smoking too much. Way too much. I’m 6-3 and 235lbs. I can handle a lot of drinking and smoking– and even still I overdo it.
Last Saturday I went out to dinner at a french restaurant, drank a bottle of Bordeaux and smoked 10 cigarettes there.
Came home, drank 10 Kir Royales and smoked another 30 cigs over the course of a long night.
I do this when I know my quit date is coming up. I had started taking Zyban a week earlier. My Mom is not only a cat pedophile but also a tobacco fiend, so I knew I had no chance of quitting while she was here for Thanksgiving.
Anyhow, it’s day 4 now and I feel pretty good. The newness of quitting is over pretty much– this is the 2nd time i’ve quit in 2 months– the first time for a month. On a month, off a month.
On day one (after the Kir Royales and 30 cigs) I felt so toxic and gross that not smoking was pretty easy.
Day two I slept mostly and ate some creamed spinach I made (not a helpful detail for other quitters, just what happened– the spinach).
Then yesterday and today I went to work and hardly thought about cigs at all because I was busy. If I got stressed I thought about a cig but then thought how much more stressed i’d be to have to quit again, or the stress that comes with beating yourself up over relapsing.
Overall though, i’m a pro at this now and am tired of failing. I think i’ll be good this time.
It’s too cold outside to have to go out there to smoke.
I cannot smoke in moderation the way people in movies or women who go on dates with smokers can.
The Zyban still made me crazy as hell, especially while I was quitting smoking.
Three of four times this week I did things that I can usually stop myself from doing– like:
- Yelling at your boss
- Contacting an ex who you’re pretty sure doesn’t want to chat
- Telling pretty much your only female friend who recently had to deal with some infidelity some line you heard from a daytime talk show like “well if you were taking care of him maybe he wouldn’t have had to go somewhere else”
- Screaming at my house in the morning because I couldn’t find the shirt I had decided I would wear the next day two minutes before I fell asleep
Anyhow, now that i’m not smoking the Zyban isn’t so bad—it makes the whole not smoking even possible.
It keeps me from freaking out.
Zyban really does work if you want to quit. So far no terrible stomach pains.
One weird thing is it’s making me blink a lot.
Cross your fingers.
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Hope it works for you. I quit maybe a year ago. But I’m one of those people you mention – I could smoke in moderation. I’d go a few days without one, then I’d smoke like a chimney over the weekend. I sorta decided out of nowhere to just give it up all together.
Oh man – I’m quitting on New Years. Be right back – gotta step out for a smoke.
xoxo
Sarah@MaterialBITCH.com
Hi my friend. I am now on day 24 of my break up from ciggies. The insanity is pretty much over with. I don’t cry at it being 3:00pm anymore or laughing when someone says something sad or stupid. I did a lot weirder things than that too.
I am a sensitive person so I still get emotional about stuff but I’m not freaking out and wanting to bite, yell, and slap the people around me.
I have been tempted to have “just one hit” about 6 times per day in the last week. Before that I would obssess about ciggies. Yesterday I was around people that smoked and I was fine.
Sparkles, quitting is such a pain in the ass. Save yourself the grief of quitting again by not starting up again.
I’m here if you need anything.
thanks rachel.