Sebastian’s Burbank On Kitchen Nightmares
This episode of Kitchen Nightmares is one of the best i’ve ever seen. I was literally shaking with misanthropic ecstasy while watching this show. If you haven’t seen it yet please watch it above and then continue reading.
The focus is a Burbank, California restaurant called “Sebastian’s” where Gordon meets a stocky, new englander named Sebastian Di Modica with a Donny Wahlberg whigger beard, a Scarface office and stars in his eyes. This seems to be a common thread among New Englanders (Bostonians in particular) who come to LA. Ever see the movie Overnight?
His delusions of grandeur were nothing short of amazing and so entertaining because you know the imminent trainwreck is just up around the bend.
This was also one of the first episodes where I really did not want Gordon to help the restaurant succeed.
I’ve met people like Sebastian Di Modica and they are marked by the few traits:
- Average to below average intelligence
- Inflated sense of self and self-importance
- Inability to clearly sense or feel other people’s reactions to them or their behavior
- Undying optimism and stubbornness for their endeavors, ideas and beliefs
- Refusal to take suggestions, guidance or criticism
- Compulsive and proud displays of their often dubious racial, ethnic, religious or national heritage
- Obsession with success and money without the necessary commitment to hard work
- The “my idea” obsession. They will not champion any idea that is not their own, even to their own detriment
- Originally From Massachusetts
This guy, who has a failing restaurant, tells Gordon Ramsay that he thinks his restaurant should be franchised because of his “unique” and “original” menu. The original idea is a menu where you pick your sauce, then you pick your meat and then you pick how you’d like it served (sandwich, salad, entree). That’s the franchisable idea. I once met a waitress (who was rather attractive but probably had the above traits) who told me that her dream was to start a restaurant called Ranch 1000, where they would offer 1,000 variations of Ranch dressing to dip your food in. My friend Steve immediately asked her if she had a boyfriend. She thought he was hitting on her and said “i’m not allowed to date people from here”. Steve responded, “No, I asked because with an idea like that you’re gonna need someone to pay the bills”. Similarly, Sebastian has probably bored his wife and any friends he might have with the “genius” of this idea, and he did find someone to pay the bills, his wife.
Now Sebastian believes that his pizzas should be sold in stores– well actually he tells Gordon that they will be sold in stores. This is one of those statements that sounds like there is something behind it, a plan in the works, but it’s phrased so that he can pretend he was just projecting an aspiration.
His pizzas use frozen dough that he orders from a distributor. The food being good, he claims, is not as important as getting his name out there and putting Sebastians on the map–acting as a launching pad— and interacting with the customers. Sebastian seems like he means well but so do a lot of annoying restaurant owners who bother you while you’re eating.
Sebastian is the kind of guy who regales you with a story where he suddenly turns the Boston accent up to 11 and tells you how restaurants back in Basstin are old fashioned and the owner comes by and has a drink with you— and that’s where his values are too. Except hes annoying and pretensious and inauthentic and doesn’t realize that the places where the owner CAN do that was earned over many years and not forced. Also, his food was probably good too. It seems as if Sebastian really thought that he and his stupid innovative menu was the draw.
Just listen to that name— “Sebastian’s Around The World”, he told Ramsay. Later, there were painful-to-watch scenes when Sebastian claims that he “won” arguments with Ramsay and forced his employees to give him high fives. We’ve all been a victim of a high-five terrorist like Sebastian and it feels like rape.
Sebastians is now closed. The reason was a “family situation” however you can kind of surmise that the show probably didn’t help the restaurant or his wife’s career. People probably started going to the restaurant just to gawk at the freakshow. But Ramsay is right, Sebastians could have been something. The problem is that the owners ego was more important than creating a successful business. Some of the key elements were there, and if you know anything about Burbank you know that it wouldn’t have to be a perfect effort for it to succeed. Burbank is like our New Jersey.
Overall Sebastian’s hubris, like so many before him, ruined his restaurant and himself. It’s sad to me that people ruin themselves on television like this for my viewing pleasure but its heartening that there is a medium that attracts this kind of bozo for exposure the way that a flame attracts moths. The only sad part is that the correction is done with a wrecking ball and not a chisel. I mean, you gotta feel bad for this guy. But as I like to say, all pain is self inflicted.
There’s some further antics by Sebastian on the web here and here.
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Tagged with burbank, gordon ramsay, kitchen nightmares, sebastian di modica, sebastian's
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As a loather of reality TV since Survivor was just a soiled gleam in some whore’s eye, I’ve never caught this show before. Goddamn that was good. I live 20 minutes from the Massachusett’s border and there are mooks like this one everywhere running around like they’re Tyson circa ‘91 and my hands are Miss Black Rhode Island. He looks like one of those real husky guys who instead of being sorta surprisingly strong is actually quite feeble, soft, and ticklish. In a just world he would have married Phil Hartman’s wife and been fat on a slab years ago. This guy is fun to hate.
[...] Classic episode of Kitchen Nightmares, Sebastian’s Burbank. [...]
Speaking of reality TV – “Dance your Ass Off” was cancelled here in Australia after one episode. I’m so pleased, and so proud of my fellow countrymen.
That’s pretty much the same impression I got from watching the show. Usually Ramsay takes on a massive ego that’s the main obstacle to an otherwise promising business, breaks it down (mostly by waving the signed contract in their face behind the scenes, I’m sure) and then proceeding to use his influence and skill to fill the restaurant and serve them excellent food for a change. He usually leaves the restaurant with a fairly good chance to succeed, but unfortunately 2/3 of them end up closing their doors within 2 years.
This case was a little different. I doubt Ramsay expected Sebastian to be so deeply delusional and insecure with reality. As Ramsay turned things around; the restaurant filled up with happy customers, the till filled up with money, Sebastian apparently had some sort of mental breakdown, more protective of his delusion than the reality of his family business. He lashed out like a mad dictator, trashing Ramsay and all the positive help and support he lent to the business. He seemed bent on crashing his ship on the rocks just to prove he was the captain of his ship, sailing to some Lala Land of self-delusional fame and prosperity.
His wife obviously agreed with the global consensus about Sebastian; it looks like she’s remarried and moving on with her life, judging by her myspace and facebook pages.
Good points Greg. Do you have links to his wife’s pages?
I have been amazed by the show and was hoping this guy wasn’t the perfect stereotype of americans across the world
Actually, Burbank is nothing like New Jersey. Stupid comment.
To the author. I would like to shake your hand, sir. Your depiction of this moron, an overly-proud, massively dim-witted restaurant owner (who sports a chin-strap, like wiggers in northeast philly) is spot on.
Its really unfortunate that so many of these kinds of jokers exist. Was this the episode where he said he plunked $300K of his WIFEs money into?…(looks to be some kind of lawyer/banker of hebrew descent).
In any case, very well written.
Does anyone know what happened to that cute waitress Sonya?? She is the one that served Gordon in the beginning??
We watched this last evening on demand and I agree with everything the blog says but feel somewhat sorry that the author considers slamming New Englanders justifiable. Sebastian didn’t want to grow up, didn’t want to see himself in any way that would require sincere self-examination. The lie in the very beginning was the tip. Why would you lie on TV? I feel sorry for Sebastian that he has a hard time softening and grasping hold of the gift….agree that it could have had great potential. But apparently even Gordon has failed. Hopefully Sebastian was learning through this painful process, even if he didn’t get it this time around. Hopefully he will stop lying to himself. New England as a geographic locale has nothing to do with humility. The same could be said of the arrogance of the New York Yankees, known for uppity thinking! The contrast I noticed in the two American episodes we have seen is that Americans in general can be challenging. Gordon even went at it with the patrons in the New Jersey episode. Wow!