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The Time I Caught Barack Obama Stealing My Lunch

Friday, 01 Feb 2008
 

I know two things about John McCain:

1. He was a war hero and spent 5 years in a POW camp where he was routinely beaten and tortured by vietnamese citizens, who he refers to as “gooks” (his words not mine)

2. I didn’t catch him stealing my G.D. lunch last August at the McDonald’s restaurant on La Brea Ave and Fountain in Hollywood.

barack obama stealing my lunch at mcdonalds

Here’s how it happened:

I was in line at McDonalds after a night of pretty heavy drinking and carrying on. I was thirsty and hungry. I looked like crap in the way that can happen when you haven’t spent the night at home. There were children all around since this McDonald’s has a “Playplace®” which is basically the poor people’s Disneyland.

Suddenly I hear whispers that you hear when either some homeless guy has taken his pants off and is dancing naked outside or when someone well known is spotted. I place my order which was a #1 meal, pay and then stand to wait.

Then, here comes Barack Obama with like 10 handlers and a few people with cameras. I had seem him on TV a few times and remembered that he was in California going on Jay Leno and stumping for votes. The crowd parts and he walks up and orders a Big Mac and a Coke like he’s just some ordinary guy.

I tell him that I ordered almost the same thing to make conversation and he just sort of smiles fakely and says “greaaaaat” the way the boss in Office Space says it.

Then not 20 seconds later the woman calls my order “Big Mac Meal” and suddenly Barack Lumberg cuts in front of me and grabs the bag of food. Had he ever actually been to Mcdonalds he would know it takes longer than 20 seconds to get your meal.

I tell him that its my food and then one of his handlers pushes me aside like some deranged fan.

He ordered just a Coke and a Big Mac, I tell the crowd and the cashier, who are all giving me the look of death. I ordered the entire value meal, I say trying to appeal to their sense of value.

Barack’s order comes out now. Just take your food and go, she says to me.

Just then I look outside and see old chiclet teeth taking a handful of fries and shoving them in his mouth.

McCain 2008

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Reader's Comments

  1. funny you bump famous people all the time. your the new forest gump.

    funny blog but i dont buy it.

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  2. Lol, john mccain fucking sucks. maybe that’ll teach you to eat real food instead of LOLmcdonaldsprocessedmeat.

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  3. SZ, thanks for the thoughtful comment.

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  4. If this really is true, I find it hilarious. But please, don’t even joke about fetting that war mongerer McCain into office.

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  5. what do fetting mean

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  6. [...] the fact that he stole my lunch in Hollywood last year, apparently he’s also a tobacco fiend. This Seattle Times article pretends to ask aloud the [...]

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  7. We all know it, America is following the path of USSR (falling under its own weight).

    All McCain will do is speed it up, by increasing the budget on war and letting his people starve.

    He was a POW?
    Hard people are Hard on people.

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  8. George I dont give a crap what McCain does, I know he’d spill the extra 89 cents for his own goddamned fries.

    It’s liberals like you that would probably think its ok if someone punked me for my entire meal as long as he was a liberal hero, like the Dali Lhama or Steve Jobs.

    Until Barack Obama reimburses me for the fries the negative blog posts will continue. I got a tip last week that he volunteers to play Santa during christmastime and doesn’t wear underpants underneath the velvet red santa pants. Want me to run with that one lefty?

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  9. So you’re choosing your president over $.89?
    I find that fairly pathetic, but to each his own, I guess.

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  10. your an idiot. prolly one of the idiots that helped george bush jr into office… TWICE

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  11. That’s really stupid, to hold a grudge over fries. I hardly believe it anyway. If it is true, you could have been rational about it, and just told him without raising a scene. Also, where would you have possibly gotten a stupid tip like that?

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  12. Hell yeah!! Fuck that bastard for taking your food. Like his slimy politics isn’t enough of a reason, this one definitely is. Down with Obama!!

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  13. thanks afreemaniii. Brother, you dont know what it’s like to be that hungry and see this elitist lefty putting your hard earned fries into his pickle polisher. i have tears running down my face as we speak.

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  14. [...] I’d be lying if I said this didn’t remind me of the time barack stole my lunch. [...]

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  15. who you kidding?….mcdonalds is a terrible place the thought makes me cringe….i wouldn’t be concerned so much about obama…..i’d worry about my health…prevention…a time for a change???

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